Secrets Look Different in the Light

Chapter 12

Dylan's POV

"What are you doing here?" She asks me.
"Parents came home," I tell her. I know I just saw her this morning, but its feels like days. She's dressed up—a flowy, strapless dress hugging her shape, her wavy hair slipping past her shoulders. She looks good. And I hate that I still feel something about it.

"Well, enjoy your dinner." ," she mutters, eyes flicking away as she tries to walk past me like I'm no one.

"Seriously?" I blink, stunned by how quickly she shut me down. She crosses her arms, eyes sharp. "What do you want from me, Dylan?"

"I don't know- maybe a single moment of your time? An explanation? A conversation? A fucking hello?" My voice is too loud now, but I don't back down. My chest is tight, my throat dry. I'm trying not to fall apart, but she's looking at me like I already have.

"I broke up with you this morning, Dylan. That should be explanation enough," she says, her tone light but her arms are still folded like armor. She's trying to sound indifferent, but the edge in her voice betrays how not over it she really is.

"Yeah and over what?" 

She huffs. "You know what." 

I pause, heart thudding. "Right... because I told you I found coke in your jacket pocket." Saying it aloud tastes bitter. Heavy. It changes the air between us.

She scoffs. "It's not because you found it. It's because you're gonna turn it into this huge fucking deal- just like when I cheated. And I can't keep having that shit thrown in my face every time we argue."

I take a step closer, my voice tighter now. "And why shouldn't I make a big deal out of it, May?"

She glances around, nervous, arms hugging her torso tighter. "Because it's not something to be worried about. I don't even do it often!"

"So what is the point of your infrequent coke usage? Honestly?" I ask her. 

She lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes. "I just... I like it."

I raise an eyebrow.

"From time to time," she adds, shifting her weight. "I like to fucking snort coke for the same reason everyone else does it."

Her eyes flick away, her voice lower now. "It feels good." A pause. 

"I like the way it feels." She finally looks back at me, her voice cracking just enough to betray the edge. "And you won't get that, 'cause you've never done it, Dylan."

 I swallow hard, something twisting in my gut. The words come out before I think them through.

"Then why don't I try it?"

She freezes. Eyes wide. Like I've just pulled the fire alarm on our entire history. Her jaw tightens.

For a long second, she doesn't respond. The air turns too quiet.

"You're crazy," she says. Her laugh is wild- louder than it should be, tinged with something forced. But it's hers. And God, I miss it already.

"Why?" I fire back. "Because I wanna try the thing that's 'not a big deal'?"

She rolls her eyes. "Try it if you want Dylan. I don't give a shit what you do." 

I tilt my head, studying her. "Then let's go do it."

Her face tightens. "I don't have any on me. Thanks to you."

I reach into my pocket, pull out the Energizer Bunny, and toss it to her. "There."

She catches it, looking at the contents inside. Her fingers hesitate before snapping it shut.

A beat passes, but her eyes don't leave mine.