Secrets Look Different in the Light

Chapter 34

Avery's POV

"Avery he didn't use me, I agreed to the friends with benefits thing as much as he did." Jackie says, a little too defensively.

"Sure, but it was his idea, wasn't it? And you said yes because you were scared to lose him. He said yes because he wanted a rebound. Those are completely different reasons." I keep my voice even, trying to sound rational, not judgmental. "It's okay. I'm not judging you. God knows I've made enough of my own mistakes, as you've reminded me."

"It might look that way, but Dylan was dealing with stuff too. And eventually, we both caught feelings. So no- I wasn't used. That's what we talked about last night." Her tone is calm, final.

"Jackie, I'm really trying here, but I can't sit by and let you convince yourself this is something it's not. My brother's been using you to get over May. Deep down, you know it. The same day he kissed you, she spent the night in his bed."

She flinches, and I hate being the one to say it- but how can she not see this?

"It's messy, yes I'll admit that. But-" Jackie starts, but I interrupt.

"Please, spare me, Jackie. He's still chasing May every chance he gets. And I hate that he dragged you into that. I know your feelings for him are real- as hard as that is for me to stomach- but his? No. Don't be delusional." I tell her, knowing she won't believe me.

She stands up and walks to the doorway. Her face twists, angry and hurt. "I get you have to control everything in the world that is 'Avery'. But you don't get to decide what's true about a relationship you just found out about. I've been living it. I know how it started. I know how it changed. You know nothing. And if you keep being this self-involved, you never will."

Her voice cracks, and suddenly there are tears. Jackie crying isn't something I see often. And I never like being the reason.

"Why do you all keep calling me selfish? What have I done that is so fucking selfish, Jackie?" I ask, exasperated.

"You'd rather believe your brother's using me than believe he could actually care about me. Because if he's just using me, then it doesn't count. You don't have to accept us. You don't have to live with the weirdness. You'd rather call me delusional than let me be happy dating your brother. And for what? Because it makes you uncomfortable?"

"I'm trying to save you from getting hurt!" I snap, fighting to keep my voice down.

"Well I've been hurt plenty by you, why not let someone else have a go?" she says bitterly. And just like that, she's gone. The door slams behind her.

Dylan's POV

I heard the door slam, then saw Jackie tearfully getting into an Uber. I had half a thought to just sneak out the back door right then, but I stayed put in my room. 

One of the cleaning ladies drops off the bill and the singed end of my joint, her lips pursed tight. "Twenty bucks added for the 'inconvenience,'" she says.

"Sorry again," I offer, handing her the check. She glares and leaves.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Avery erupts, half running into the cleaning lady as she bursts through the doorway. 

This girl knows no other tone than screeching. 

"You're gonna need to be more specific." I say, though not to her amusement.

"You're not over May. You went after Jackie because you were pissed May dumped you. You wanted to make her jealous. And I'm sure it worked. So what the hell are you doing now?" she asks. Though I'm sure she's come up with plenty of answers all on her own.