Secrets Look Different in the Light

Chapter 15

Theo's POV

     What the hell am I even supposed to wear on a double date with the girl I'm in love with and the girl who was supposed to be a one night distraction? The only reason I'm even showing up tonight is so I don't stand Haley up. I don't wanna be a dick to her. It's not like she knows how I feel about Avery.

 Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll talk Haley into ditching the double date with me. That is if I ever leave my house to pick her up. 

Fuck it, I'm just stalling.

     I pass my parents in the living room. My dad's sprawled in his recliner, remote in hand, while my mom's curled up on the couch with a book: Jane Austen: Ahead of Her Time. My mom's 4th book this month about Jane Austen. Wonder how long it's gonna last her this time.

"Have a good night sweetie." my mom says, not even looking up.

"Keep out of trouble," my dad adds, cranking the volume on the TV.

"Love you all too." I mutter as I close the front door behind me.

On the way to Haley's, I pass Avery's house. For a second, I think about stopping. Going up to her room. Telling her to call the whole thing off. Tell her that it's torture doing this, going out tonight and pretending it doesn't kill me to see her with Jayden. Tell her I've been in love with her since the moment we met and that I screwed up by never saying it. Tell her if she'd let me, I'd show her what real love looks like.

"Running a little late are we?"

I jump a little- Haley's voice catches me off guard as she opens the car door and climbs in. 

"Sorry. Forgot I needed gas." Lie.

She just laughs. "It's okay. I'm just messing with you."

She looks... good. Simple outfit- jeans, white tucked-in tee, black corduroy jacket, combat boots. Hair braided over one shoulder. If this were any other night, I might've noticed more. Or cared more. But my chest is somewhere else entirely. 

She settles into the seat, adjusting her jacket as she buckles in. I glance over at her, trying to push down the guilt clawing at my chest. She's funny, easy to talk to, beautiful- if things were different, maybe I could actually be excited for a date with her.

"You look nice," I say, and I mean it, even if my mind is somewhere else.

She smiles. "Thanks. You clean up okay too."

I hesitate, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. "We don't have to go if you don't want to. I mean, the double date thing. We could go do something, just you and me instead?" I offer.

She gives me a soft smile. "As much as I'd love to keep you to myself tonight, I think it's best if we do this double thing. It keeps it casual." 

It was worth a shot.

Jackie's POV

     The one day a month I get to borrow my mom's car and take myself wherever I want, and it lands on a Friday. The one time I can take myself to hangout and do things, and Avery schedules a double date with my only other friend. 

I tried thinking of anyone else to call. All I came up with was Dylan.

I haven't seen him since Monday night- not for lack of trying. I don't catch him at school. And I haven't gone over to Avery's house because I've been drowning in homework. But now that I know she's out for the night, I figure... maybe this is my chance. My excuse to see him.

I need to clear the air. And he owes it to me after using me as his make out buddy, and then going radio silence on me for days.

 My guess is he's been ignoring me because he realized how crazy his idea of friends with benefits was. I'm hoping it wasn't about May. That he wasn't just using me to fill the time until he could patch things up with May. Because there's a difference between needing someone to get through Day One of your breakup... and needing someone to distract you until you crawl back to your ex. And I'm only okay with the first one.