Secrets Look Different in the Light

Chapter 43

Dylan's POV

The car ride there is silent. Jackie can tell something happened, but she doesn't ask. She knows our parents and how they can get. 

I see Avery wiping at her eyes during the drive, trying her best to preserve her makeup. She catches my stare, but neither of us speak. 

We pull up to the school, teens already littering the parking lot. I spot my old friends doing their usual shotguns of four loko before heading inside. 

I've just upgraded my pregame. I tell myself, thinking of the coke I snorted before leaving the house. 

I take Jackie's hand in mine as we walk to the doors. We both pause when we notice Avery stops just outside the doors.

"I'm gonna wait out here for a few. In case Theo comes..." she says. 

"Come find us when you come in, okay?" Jackie says. 

I don't know what's going on with Avery and Theo, but after what Avery just dealt with from our parents, I hope Theo shows up for her.

Inside, it's a full-on assault of glitter and color. Floor-to-ceiling decorations. Not a single surface untouched by tinsel or streamers. There's a photo booth off to the side already packed with underclassmen, and an archway of balloons framing the entrance to the dance floor.

Jackie whistles low under her breath. "Okay, I've gotta admit... they went all out."

She scans the crowd. "I hope they play something good. I actually kinda want to dance tonight." She bumps her shoulder into mine, smiling for real.

I nod, but the music's already starting to blur. Not because it's loud. Because my head's too loud.

My dad's voice plays on loop:
"Still a selfish, impulsive little boy who can't keep his shit together for more than five minutes."

My jaw tightens.

Across the gym, I spot Haley near the punch table, surrounded by her usual circle

"I'm gonna hit the bathroom real quick," I say, already stepping back. I nod toward them. "You should go say hi."

"So you don't have to just stand here and wait for me." I add.

She eyes me for a second, then nods. "Okay. But if a slow song starts before you get back, I'm dancing with someone else." 

She lingers for a moment, watching me leave. I can't tell what she's thinking, but she looks worried.

I flash her a grin and that gets her to move across the room, joining their group.

The hallway outside the gym is quiet. I find the last stall in the boys' bathroom and lock the door, my hands already reaching for the small container tucked inside my jacket.

It's not a big deal. Just needed more than a bump to get me through. A real line. Get my head straight. Then I'll be better.

I pour, line it up, and lean over the toilet paper dispenser.

One inhale. Sharp. Bright. Instant.

The world flickers back into focus. My dad's voice quiets.

Better.

I wipe my nose and check the mirror on my way out. Red eyes. Crooked tie. Faint powder along the sleeve of my jacket — I dust it clean.

"Still a selfish, impulsive little boy who can't keep his shit together for more than five minutes."