Secrets Look Different in the Light

Chapter 19

Dylan's POV

My weird little friendship with Jackie has actually been going surprisingly well since our study session. We even walk to third period together now, since our classes are across the hall.

"You on Avery duty tonight?" I ask as we head that way.

"Nope. Theo and I have a project to work on." We stop outside her classroom, and just over her shoulder, I catch a glimpse of May. She's laughing with some guy, fingers curled around his jacket. That familiar tight knot forms in my gut. 

"How long is that gonna take?" I ask. 

She shrugs. "I don't know Dylan, but I'm not gonna rush it for you." Her tone is firm, and it kind of makes me grin.

 I lean closer, just enough that my lips nearly brush her ear. "I would never rush you..." I murmur, watching as goosebumps ripple up her neck. Then I turn and walk away.

"Just let me know when you're done," I call back, not sticking around for a reply.

But the second I'm alone, the May thoughts crash back in. Who was that guy? Why was she touching him like that? I try to shake it off- try not to care -but the breakup still loops in my head. Replaying our last argument.

I'm back in that steakhouse bathroom stall. She's setting up two lines like it's nothing. She has this wild smile on her face I rise from the line. She starts explaining how it'll feel, how long it lasts, but all I can focus on is her mouth. I leaned in to kiss her.

"Please don't tell me this was just a ruse to seem okay with me doing coke?"

"What? No, I just... I love you May. I dont want this to be over." I tell her.

She stared at me like I was the dumbest person alive. "Dylan, we are over. There's too much history we'll never forget."

"This isn't about the past. It's about right now- about how you just suddenly started doing coke and wouldn't even talk to me about it."

She stepped out of the stall, already done. "Let me be clear. I'm sick of the way you make me feel. Sick of how you're always worrying. Sick of us. So stop fighting for it." 

She stopped at the mirror to check her reflection before leaving, like I didn't even exist.

Screw her, I don't need her. She can ignore me, and hate me and do whatever else she wants. It doesn't matter, none of it does.

Fuck it, where is Pez.

Theo's POV

Trying to distance myself from Avery without her thinking I'm avoiding her is basically rocket science. My method? Text her a lot. As long as we're texting, she doesn't really clock how little she's seen me in person.

I've tried this before. Every time, I cave the second she says: "I need you." 

Those three little words drag me back in. It was usually some mundane, unimportant- could ask anyone to help her with -thing. Still, I'd come running.

But this time, I'm holding the line. No in-person hangs. Just texts. And tonight, I'm working on a history project with Jackie. She's already waiting by my car when I hit the parking lot.

"Eager for homework?" I joke.

"More like eager to leave." she says, before her phone rings. "It's Avery." 

My stomach clenches.

"What's up?" she answers. I toss my bag in the backseat

"Yeah I'm with him right now. Were you needing a ride or something?" and frantically wave my arms like I'm landing a plane.