Secrets Look Different in the Light

Chapter 36

Dylan's POV

I'm cracking. 

I thought quitting coke would be easier. Every morning I wake up with this itch under my skin- a burn I can't soothe. For a while, weed helped calm. It calms me down the craving, stopped the jitters, but now? Even weed barely helps it. I know if I did one line, everything would smooth out. The fog would lift. I could think straight again. But I promised myself I wouldn't do that to Jackie. I can't do to her what May did to me. I have to stay clean

So here I am, for the third time today, hiding in the old scoreboard of the retired football field, lighting a joint.

When they built the new indoor field, this one was supposed to be torn down and turned into a soccer field, But no one's made it a priority, so it sits mostly forgotten. Haley shared this hideout with me when we started smoking at school together. I shared it with Jackie after that so she'd know where to look for me if needed. And maybe to make out with her a bit.

"Starting without me?" Haley's voice cuts through the quiet. She drops her bag by the door and flops on the floor.

"On Weed Wednesday? Never." I grin, passing her the joint. Wednesdays are our ritual. I come here most days alone, but Wednesdays we smoke together. Lately, I've had to buy weed from Pez to cover my solo visits. His most recent choice of Pez Dispensers was Harry Potter. 

Haley takes a long drag. "Do you think any of the teachers get stoned?"

I laugh. "They'd have to sell it to afford it." My phone buzzes, disrupting the silence. 

That buzzing is going to pierce my fucking skull. 

"Going to look at dresses today for homecoming. Last chance to get out of going." Jackie texted.

"I don't need an out, we're going." I respond and set my phone to silent, placing it face up in case she texts again.

"Jackie's so nervous about homecoming." I say aloud. 

"Why? Everyone knows you're dating. No secrets there," Haley shrugs.

"Maybe it's Avery," I say, guessing.

"Have you tried talking to Avery lately? Or is she still not over you breaking the sacred code or whatever?" Haley says casually, passing the joint back. She keeps her tone light, but the jab is there- sharp beneath the shrug.

"Last time I tried, she nearly ran me over in the driveway. She says the only way she'll talk to me is if I stop using Jackie, but I'm not using her. So how do I stop doing something I'm already not doing?" I ask, clearly desperate for a way to bring peace to this situation.

"You can't. Avery's stubborn, righteous, and entitled."

I don't argue.

Theo's POV

"Thanks for coming with me. I thought about asking Haley, but I didn't think this was her thing." Jackie says, rifling through a rack of dresses.

"Since when are you two friends anyways? I only ever recall you talking to her at Avery's after parties." I ask. 

"Dylan and Haley smoke together a lot. So I've been around her more often. Plus I'm kind of lacking in the female friend department these days." She explains, pulling out a dress to examine then putting it back.

"Avery is still around, you know, if you just talk to her-"

"Why? So she can tell me again that she thinks Dylan is just using me and doesn't actually care about me? No thanks." she snaps.