Life Is A Nightmare

Epilogue

Four Months Later....

(Jayden)

I hold her in my arms, joy and fear racing through me. I hope I can be everything she needs me to be in life. Needing to be the stability she needs after months of uncertainty and worry I had for her. Praying every night nothing would happen to her while Jordan held her life in his when he was carrying her. She needed him to survive up until now but not anymore. She's mine, my daughter I never imagined I would have, neither can I imagine life without her now.

After Jordan attacked Gavin nearly killing him, he was arrested. He was also charged with killing Vivian when evidence was found at his house of the night Vivian was killed. He was sick enough to take pictures of the night he killed my sister along with pictures of me he took that night at the house all these years ago. It's as if he needed a reminder of what he did to relive that night over and over.

To this day I can't understand why I fell for him, believed his lies. I was so desperate for someone to talk to that didn't judge me for what I thought I had done that I was betrayed by his eyes. His eyes always haunted me for years and I never understood why. Never put two and two together to understand he was the blue-eyed scarecrow on Halloween night that changed my life into a nightmare.

I spent too many years believing I was responsible for Vivian's death in that house. I told myself, I was convinced I must have even though I had no memory or recollection of the events that led to her death. Jordan turned my life into hell and for what for me to notice him? For me to be this person he could convince to love but he was so deranged to need me to himself by hurting me in the most painful way it is possible.

Half of my life has been spent behind bars I didn't belong in because of what he did. He hurt me in more ways than I can think of and the thing is regardless of me being released and him convicted of Vivian's murder she isn't brought back to life. She's still gone and I'm still here alive wishing it was me not her.

I look down at her again, seeing my sister in her more and more. Wishing she was here with me but there's nothing I can do to bring her back so instead, I'm going to live my life for her. I'm going to move past the past that once held me down. I have to be stronger now that I have my daughter because I have someone to live for now. I have a life where I can make the choices I want, and no one can tell me I'm wrong as her dad. She's mine and I will do everything I can to protect her and that means she will never go through what I went through as a child.

First and foremost, I won't make her keep secrets like I had to grow up. I'll tell her everything because there's nothing, I will hide from her or have her hide from anyone. I won't let our family's past consume her or prevent her from being who she wants to be in life. She's more than this family's past she's the reason that things will be different. Things in life can change for the positive and we can leave the nightmares in the past.

Even my dad has let the past go. Slowly at least as he finally realized he needed to let go of Jared who was holding him back in the past. I may not have the best relationship with him after the life we had and the lack of relationship we've had but things are slowly getting better. He finally talked about Simon and what else went on in the house I didn't know about. He's opening up and letting go of all the secrets he made me hold onto all these years. Despite what he thought he didn't get in trouble for speaking about Simon to the cops when he was a victim at the time, brainwashed by Jared.

After years of him neglecting Gavin, he started rebuilding his relationship with him as well as with Chris. He has the family he's always wanted without the secrets burning a hole in him and pulling him back into the past. It's crazy how much the past can bring you down. Pull you back into a state of mind you don't want to be in, but you can't leave. You can either let the past haunt you forever or you can move forward and live in the present where each step is a little different.