(Third Person)
Without realizing it, he set something in motion. He led himself down this spiraling mess. It's like there is a fire engulfing him and he is suffocating in his mistake. He is being forced to reconsider his actions for the first time in his life.
"Damn it." he mumbles to himself as he paces back and forth inside his house.
He had planned to scare Gavin away from the truth because his unexpected visit was unnerving to him. He was beyond livid someone would come into Jayden's life after all these years and send him back into the past to question everything.
He doesn't need to hear it from Jayden to confirm, that one visit, that private chat between Gavin and Jayden left a cloud of doubt. Too much doubt and details long forgotten are now floating back to the surface. Images of the night are coming back in flashes and the thought terrifies him despite his own reassurance he is not terrified of anything.
"Fuck." he says, his hand moving to his head and through his short hair. He can't keep still. He can't stop thinking of the mistake he made and how everything is falling apart but he can't let that happen.
There is a knock at the door just then and his head shoots up from staring at the floor. He doesn't need to think too hard to figure out who is standing behind the door. He already knows, "Jordan, open the door I need to talk to you." his dad says.
As far back as he can remember his dad has always been concerned for other's well-being. He lives to help people in life. He wants to fix every problem there is as he understands the person he is talking to.
His patients have always been more important to him that he never noticed his youngest son, awkward and shy, hiding another part of himself that's scary. Someone that doesn't fit in their perfect family like his siblings do. He became a patient at one point until it was best he left despite his dad's doubts.
"Jordan?" his dad calls again with an overwhelming concern hanging in the air.
Jordan swallows the laugh back he can feel on the verge of erupting out of him. He doesn't know what he finds quite funny at this moment but he wants to laugh. He wants to cry. He wants to punch the wall and make every feeling he has, sending him into a frenzy, stop.
He can't take it. He hates losing control. He hates everything right now including Jayden who he believed he could never hate in his life because he loves him too much. Except that logic is proving wrong. He's angry with him for questioning him and what he did today by interrupting the conversation.
Jayden doesn't need to know anything. He doesn't need to know about who killed Shawn. He doesn't need to know how Jordan's dad, who didn't ask for details concerning the truth covered up the crime without a second thought.
No, Jayden doesn't need to know how close Shawn was to the truth and how far Jordan went to shut him up but it wasn't enough. Shawn just couldn't keep his mouth shut and he knew he had to take it into his own hands. He knew Shawn wasn't going to let the issue drop because he wanted a clear conscious by telling Jayden the truth he needed to hear.
Ha! Shawn, someone sentenced to spend the rest of his life inside that institution for killing his parents wanted a clear conscious?? How twisted is that? How pathetic!
Jordan walks to the door and glances out the peep hole. Watching for a few more seconds at how uncomfortable his dad looks standing there with a heavy burden in his chest. Just as he is about to knock a third time, Jordan unlocks the door and opens it.
"What do you want?" he doesn't try to be welcoming or apologize for taking off after he agreed in the hallway he would wait for him so they could talk.
"What's gotten into you?"
"Whatever do you mean?" he deflects the question smiling perhaps too big. Too scary and frightening he considers from the reaction his dad gives him. "I don't need you checking up on me." He adds as his dad pushes his way inside his son's small two-bedroom house he hasn't been in before.
Jordan moved into a new place five months ago and inviting his family over wasn't something he felt the need to do. He enjoys his personal space, a life his parents do not need to invade. He wants something to call his and not share it with the world. He also wants to keep them away from his secret he has been managing to hide well even from Jayden.
"You give me no choice Jordan. You haven't answered any of my calls or messages. You've been ignoring me since-"
"I'm thirty-four years old last time I checked and I don't need constant supervision from you." he retorts. "I was finally enjoying my time without you looking over my shoulder at work to make sure I was okay and then pretending you weren't."
"Sometimes your actions give me no other choice. I need to know what's going on to prevent-"
"How many times do I have to tell you I didn't do anything to him?" Jordan replies thinking to himself his actions were justified. Believing like he did the night he killed Vivian, and made sure all the evidence led back to Jayden to take the fault, was done with good intentions in mind.
Everything I've ever done is because I love Jayden. I want to be there for him. I care about him. I will do anything to protect him.
Of course Dr. Chamberlain, Jordan's dad, would tell him differently if he knew the whole truth.
YOU ARE READING
Life Is A Nightmare
सामान्य साहित्यFor as long as Gavin can remember, he has been trying to reach out to his dad. Struggling to gain his attention but try as he may his dad has remained lost in his own head. Too consumed in the well being of Gavin's older brother that he sometimes fo...
