Our Safeguard

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

~Nolan~

       I had been staring at my phone for a while now, waiting to see the delivered status of my text message to turn to read so I at least know Jerome saw the message. However, it had been this way for five minutes now.

       Okay, sure, five minutes wasn't that big of a deal, but my anxiety did not make it an easier. I just kept thinking about the worse case scenarios of why Jerome wasn't home yet. And it wasn't like I texted him around the time he was normally home. He had been gone for two hours.

       I groaned, dropping my phone on the table before rubbing my forehead. This was stupid. Jerome shouldn't have to tell me every single time he went out somewhere, even if we were dating and living together. We should be able to have our separate lives.

       I guess I just got so dependent on Jerome. I was starting to think it wasn't a good thing.

       "Is everything okay?" Orchid asked from where she was in the kitchen, trying to find something to snack on.

       "Yeah," I said. "Yeah, everything's fine."

       "And the truth?"

       "That... that is the truth. Nothing else."

       Orchid closed the cupboard door before she turned to look at me, knowing that I wasn't exactly telling the truth. No matter how hard I tried, I just wasn't a believable liar. It was very easy for people to guess when I was lying, even people who barely knew me. "You don't have to tell me," Orchid said, "but you do look like you need something to talk to."

       I sighed. "I swear, it's nothing bad. I'm just... Overreacting, that's all."

       Orchid walked over to the table and sat down beside me. "Want a second opinion on it? You never know, you might not actually be overreacting."

       I hesitated, wondering if I should tell my sister or not burden her with my relationship problems. Then again, she had been dating Atticus longer than I had been dating Jerome. Maybe she had the advice I was looking for.

       "It's just that..." I hesitated once again, wondering how I could word this. "Jerome should have been home two hours ago. I mean, he doesn't have to come home on time because he's an adult and can do whatever he wants but... I don't know where he is. And it makes me anxious."

       "Did you try texting him?" Orchid asked. 

       "Of course I texted him," I said. "He's not replying. But I also texted him five minutes ago so..."

       "Just give it some time," Orchid said. "If you really start to worry about him, then we'll deal with it then."

       Orchid stood up and was about to walk back to the kitchen, but I stopped her because of the second thing on my mind. "Wait," I said. "There's something else. I'm worried."

       Orchid sat back down. "Try calling him, then. He might have just missed the text."

       "No, no," I said. "I'm not worried about Jerome. Not yet, at least. I'm worried that I'm starting to become too dependent on him. I freak out when he's not home, I worry where he is when he isn't home. I'm wondering why he didn't tell me he wasn't going to come home instead of realizing that he doesn't have to tell me."

       "Oh, I see," Orchid said. "And I guess it doesn't help that he ended up moving in here shortly after you started dating. You got accustomed to being home with him all the time."

       I nodded. "Yeah... He wasn't even supposed to move in. He was just going to crash here until things died down with his parents, but... He just stayed, I guess. Am I being too dependent on him? Is there something wrong with being too dependent? I mean, it's not like I expect him to do everything for me. I just... Like being around him all the time. Oh my gosh. I'm clingy. That's the issue. I'm too clingy. He's probably going to dump me soon because I'm too clingy."

       "What?" Orchid asked. "He's not going to dump you. You two are both crazily in love with each other, and there aren't any signs that Jerome is going to dump you. Remember that argument you had because of Joel? Even though you ignored each other, you didn't break up. If you two can make it through a jealous jerk trying to tear you apart, I think you can make it through you feeling a bit clingy."

       "Yeah, maybe..." I was still worried I was too dependent and clingy, even though Orchid tried convincing me otherwise. I didn't even know where this was coming from. I never worried about it before, so why was I starting to worry about it out of the blue.

       I still waited for Jerome to read my message, but he didn't. In fact, he still didn't read it by the time he finally got home another two hours later. I tried my best not to be mad at him because really, there was no reason to be mad, but I couldn't help feel a bit upset that he didn't read my message at all.

       Jerome walked into the bedroom where I was watching my favourite movie. He smiled at me. "Hey." He walked over to the side of the bed I was on before leaning down and kissing my forehead. However, as soon as he pulled away, he furrowed his eyebrows. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

       "I'm fine," I said.

       Jerome sat down beside me on the bed. "Okay. Then why do you look sad?"

       I pointed to the TV. "Sad movie."

       Jerome looked at the TV before looking back at me. "How many times do I have to tell you that How to Train Your Dragon is not sad?"

       "Says you. Stoic tells Hiccup that he's not his son all because Hiccup was better than everyone and trained a dragon. That's sad."

       "You're not even at that part yet."

       I hesitated before I turned on my side to look at Jerome. "I texted you two hours ago. You didn't reply. You didn't even read it."

       Jerome looked confused as he took his cell phone out of his pocket. "Really? I didn't have my cell phone on silent so I should have heard it." He checked the message before he sighed. "I'm so sorry, Nolan. I promise, I would have replied if I saw it."

       "I know," I said. "Sorry for being upset. I was just worried about you."

       Jerome laid down on his side, looking at me. "You don't have anything to worry about. If something was wrong, I would have let you know. I was just at a party."

       I furrowed my eyebrows. "Really? I thought you hated parties now?"

       "Yeah, but I was stressed from exams and just wanted to relax," Jerome said. "On the bright side, the party wasn't anything like high school students. No stupid friends trying to hook me up with someone, no pressuring people to drink. It was actually fun. Sorry I didn't tell you."

       I shook my head. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me every single place you go to."

       "I worried you, though," Jerome said.

       "Really. It's okay."

       "Are you sure?"

       I nodded. "Yeah."

       But why didn't I feel convinced by my own words?

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angst? angst.

i got this up faster than normally so i can play a game before i go to bed lol