Our Safeguard

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

~Nolan~

       If I was being honest, I was struggling a lot now that I had sepsis again. Not only was I still hospitalized, but I knew exactly what was going to come out of my recovery. It was going to be a lot and take a long time.

       On the bright side, I finally got the oxygen mask taken off since I could breathe properly on my own again. It was a bit difficult not being able to talk to anyone who came to visit me, but Jerome seemed to have no problem trying to communicate with me. He was able to understand everything I was getting at.

        Jerome wasn't here right now, unfortunately. I was hoping he would be here when the doctor's gave me permission to get my mask taken off, but he was at school right now. He would be here soon, but I was extremely bored having to wait for him.

       He did show up shortly after his class ended. As soon as he walked into my hospital room, I smiled at him and carefully held out my arms towards him. Jerome smiled back, walking over to the hospital bed. He dropped his backpack on the floor before leaning down and pressing his lips onto mine.

       I hadn't been able to kiss him for a few days now because of the oxygen mask, so I pulled Jerome even closer to me when he first pulled away. He didn't seem to mind, but he did pull away when one of my hands trailed down and began to lift up the shirt.

       "Nolan," Jerome said. "What are you doing?"

       "Kissing you," I said.

       "Okay. So why were you trying to take off my shirt."

       "I want to have sex."

       Jerome snorted. "In the hospital?"

       "The doctors just checked up on my before you got here. They won't be back for a while."

       Jerome stared at me for a bit, wondering if I was serious or not. Was it bad that I was actually serious? Of course, part of me actually didn't want to, but I was also very horny right now. It didn't help that Jerome was the hottest person I had ever met.

       Jerome wasn't giving me an answer, but I could tell he didn't actually want to so I gave him a lingering kiss before leaning back in the bed. "Promise we'll at least do it when I get out?"

       "Of course," Jerome said. He sat down on the chair beside the hospital bed before reaching down for his backpack. He opened out, pulling out a package of beef jerky before handing it to me. "Now that you can actually eat food and not use fluids, I got your favourite."

       I took the package from Jerome, looking at the flavour. He even got my favourite flavour as well. I smiled at Jerome. "Thank you."

       "You're welcome," Jerome said. "Have the doctors told you when you're going to be discharged?"

       I shook my head. "They haven't given me an exact date, but they did say I'm improving well and won't need to be watched soon. I'll just have to be very careful at home and that recovering is going to be a long process." I sighed and rested my head back. "I don't know how school's going to go for me. The last time I contracted sepsis, it was during the summer so I decided to do online schooling."

       "Are you thinking of going back online?" Jerome asked.

       "I'm not sure yet," I said. "I do want to stay in public schooling because it's my last year but at the same time, online schooling will be easier for me if I have to keep coming in for check-ups. I just wish my parents would make the decision for me."

       "But they know the decision is better made if it's yours."

       "I know. I think... I think I'm going to keep going to public schooling. And if it gets too much, then I'll back to online schooling. But right now, it's just my physical health that I need to watch."

       "Right..."

       I looked at Jerome with furrowed eyebrows. He was currently digging through his backpack, though he wasn't coming up with anything. His backpack didn't seem full, so he was either pretending to search through there to avoid my eye contact or he lost something that he thought was inside.

       But considering he seemed doubtful when he said, "Right," I'd have to say it was the former.

       "You have something on your mind," I said. "What is it?"

       Jerome paused what he was doing before he looked at me. "I... don't want to ask you about it right now. You're still in the hospital recovering."

       Jerome didn't have to say exactly what he wanted to ask me for me to understand. This time, it was my turn to hesitate before I said, "You want to ask me about what caused me to get sepsis."

       "Yeah," Jerome said. "You never told me about it. And I get that it's hard to talk about but..."

       I sighed. "I know... You can't help if I don't tell you whenever I'm struggling. I'm sorry. I really am."

       Jerome shook his head and stood up, walking closer to the bed and holding my hands. "Nolan, you never had to apologize for it. I just want you to talk to me about it if you have the urges. Or even after you do it if you're not able to talk to me in time."

       I looked away from Jerome. "I just... I didn't want you to be disappointed in me..."

       "Nolan..." Jerome gently moved my cheek so I was looking at him. "You're struggling. I will never be disappointed in you for struggling. The same way you weren't disappointed in me when I relapsed."

       I nodded, and Jerome leaned over, pressing his lips onto mine. I hated that I thought Jerome, or my parents, would be disappointed in me for relapsing. They had been nothing but supportive to me, but it wasn't something I could easily tell my mind to stop thinking.

       When Jerome pulled away, he said, "Can I ask why you did it? Or would that be something you wouldn't want to talk about?"

       "It was just... I don't know," I said. "A lot of things going on in my mind. It's hard to ignore it at times."

       "I know," Jerome said, moving my hair away from my face. "But I can tell you're feeling better considering you asked me to have sex in the hospital."

       "Are you sure you don't want to?"

       "Yes, I'm sure. You know, I think I'm the one to blame for you turning out to be this horny."

       "You think?"

       Jerome just smiled at me again before kissing me.

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i still can't get over how much nolan changed when it comes to doing the do. at first he would get flustered now that's all he talks about lol.