Mitch's POV*
The apartment was silent. It wasn't a peaceful silence. It was sort of a defeating silence. I was in my room. Thinking. What was wrong with me? This didn't have to happen. This didn't need to happen. I thought things were going alright, but... don't take things for granite.
............Flashback.............................
I was sitting outside the bar waiting for Scott to pick me up. My crush. I could not think of him that way though. He's dating someone though. He seems so happy, and when he's happy, I'm happy. Except... I am not happy. At least I was at first but, now... my love for him is getting stronger every second. I want Scott, and the fact that I can't have him leaves me with a broken heart. Drinking, Making out with strangers, and sometimes if it was really late, I went home with random people and slept with them. And this was a daily routine for me. It was normal. It was how things were for me while Scott on the other hand, gets to be with a person who can only love him like he wants him to. Nobody can love Scott like he does so... All I have to do is wait.
I didn't even notice the tear that rolled down my cheek, But honestly I didn't care that much to wipe it away since there were more tears escaping my eyes.
"Mitch?" Scott said Kneeling down to my level on the cement. "Hey," was all I could respond back to him. I feel bad every time he sees me cry because when he tries comforting me, it makes me even more upset, knowing I don't stand a chance with him. "Are you crying? Tell me what's wrong. You're actually scaring me." I could tell he was pissed with me. I quickly wiped my tears away and responded with an,"I'm fine."
"You sure?" I nodded almost too eagerly so he would believe me. " Okay. We are going to talk as soon as we get home though." He probably knew I was lying.
As I sat down on our couch, he didn't sit next to me. That's odd because we usually sit knee to knee or closer. If that's even possible. "Why are keeping your distance from me? I'm not going to hurt you." All he did was shrug and my heart sank. "I'm just confused. Why do you go out every night? It's not good for you." Now he was making me feel like I did something bad. I know I got drunk every night, lips swollen from making out with random people, Hickeys Down my neck, and bags under my eyes from lack of sleep, but all I ever did was love him. This is all a distraction from him so I don't break his heart by not being able to be perfect like his boyfriend. I'm not ever going to be able to date him because I'll just do something stupid and make him hate me. That's what always happens at least.
"Scott, you don't have to worry about me. It's fine. I'm doing this for myself." His invisible eyebrows rose and he became furious. "What do you mean that I don't have to worry about you? I hate to think that I might not be able to see you again if someone hurts you. What if you get kidnapped, or killed or taken to jail for doing something stupid?" My eyes started to well up with tears with his words. I feel like I disappointed him. My best friend. My crush. "Mitch don't cry. You are the reason why this is happening. Can't you see?!" In that moment I burst into tears, burying my head in my hands. "Well if you are not going to speak to me, then just leave." I didn't move. Instead he left. No goodbye. No I love you's. Just silence. The only noise was the sound of my loud, screaming, sobs that echo our apartment.
.......End of flashback.......
Its been almost 4 days since he left. I hadn't left my room since. I didn't bother to change clothes. I hadn't eaten anything or picked up my phone since. I was to scared to call him and tell him that I would stop, but I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he is now. He didn't deserve this. I should just give up already. There's nothing to loose what never happened.
We could be on the couch watching sponge bob, eating ice cream, cuddled up together with Wyatt, and just be happy. But that's not going to happen. I messed up bad. And there's nothing that can change that. And he's not going to come through that door and tell me he loves me, and we could be together forever. But those are only dreams. I was always a dreamer. I still am. I still dream that everything is going to be okay, and I'll live a perfect life like everyone else I knew. But they were just dreams that never came true.
My thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on my bedroom door. I opened the door and was surprised to see Scott. He was wearing shorts with a sweater, sneakers that I bought him for his birthday, and of course, a hat. His eyes were puffy, I could tell he had been crying. He looked down at me the way he always did when things were normal. When he looked at me like I was the most fragile thing on earth. The look in his eyes made me know he was about to cry again. He buried his face into the crook of my neck and soaked my shirt with his tears. I hugged him tight and rubbed his back in small circles to calm him down. It felt good to have him back in my arms again.
"Mitch, can we talk on the couch?" I nodded and lead him over to the couch holding his hand gently. "So what did you want to talk about?" I said, wrapping my arms around him, comforting him as he rested his head on my shoulder. "Alex and I broke up." I was shocked. I thought they would last forever. I was wrong. "Oh Scott." I said as he cried into my shoulder. After a while he rested his head on my lap, as I ran my hands through his beautiful, soft, blonde hair. "Are you still mad, Mitch?" He said after a couple minutes of silence. "Not anymore." He relaxed more in my lap. "I'm sorry. And I wasn't even mad at you. I was only mad at myself though." He sat up and looked into my eyes."Really?" I nodded. He giggled and cupped my cheek, while caressing it with his thumb. " Yeah. I don't think we had a reason to argue. We were just confused with ourselves, that's all." I added. I gave him a genuine smile that made him smile too. He pulled me on top of him, not letting me escape from his warmth. He truly gave the best hugs. I always feel safe in his arms. Like nobody will hurt me. He protects me. "Can you promise me you'll never go to those clubs again?" "I won't, Scott. I'd rather stay with you anyway." He placed a long kiss on my head. Now I think that I might be happier.
"Mitch it's getting late we should get some sleep," he said checking his phone. "Yeah we should," I responded. I hadn't gotten any sleep the past few nights. I'll be out before I even realize it. We said goodnight and went our separate ways. I soon fell asleep, dreaming about the two of us.
I was awoken by my bedroom door opening. In the doorway I saw a tall blonde. Scott.
"Can I sleep with you." I nodded. "Of course you can. Lemme guess. Miss me already?" I laughed and we crawled into bed. "Actually yes." Scott Hoying. Missing me. Wow. "Aww Scott. I missed you too," I said kissing his cheek. We stayed with each other, cuddled up close together. He protected me. From the bad thoughts in my head. He really was the only one who could really make me feel good about myself.
We fell asleep with each other's company. One of his arms around my shoulders, and the other around my waist, keeping me close to him. My arms around his torso while I was curled up into a bawl, his legs close to mine though. His breathing relaxing me, making me fall asleep more easily with happy thoughts in my head. I've always wished for this moment. Now things are special between the two of us. In a good way, things are... different.
