I try. I try very hard. To keep you pleased. To make you feel better after a long, hard day. To make you realize that you are special to me. To always make sure to make you smile and laugh. To help you feel special.
But apparently that's not enough. I can't make you happy. You don't want me around. And it's not like I am forcing myself to bring myself out to you. Because that is not the case.
I want to do this. I need to. For you and for me. To our friends and our family's. They want to see you happy, which you are.
But only with someone else. I wasn't enough for you to love me, when I loved you so much it hurt. You are with someone else more special than me. More pretty and tall. Who you love more and appreciate. We were a team. The perfect duo.
But you didn't love me. When I gave you my whole life and love and you just threw it away. You never loved me. You pretended.
But I can't pretend to be someone else for you to love me. No matter how hard you try to fix me and make me perfect for you it won't work. I can't change myself for you. Love is supposed to be trust and acceptance. And I couldn't even accept myself because you never did. Your blue eyes told lies. They were so beautiful yet so painful and cruel. They could tell wonders but did so much damage. The way you would never look at me when I told you I loved you. Or the way you would tell me to go away when I was trying to help you.
Your voice still rings in my ears on repeat. It haunts me and leaves me heart broken. But you still left me wanting more.
If I could have a say in our decisions, I would have held you so close. You wouldn't ever run away. There wouldn't be another choice. I would be your only one. You would have cared about my feelings, not my looks. You would have cared about my heart instead of my face. I would be beautiful in your eyes inside and out.
If I could make you feel better than anything in the entire world. Take all he blame. Make you a proud man. If I could make you stay. Convince you that you're loved. We wouldn't have torn apart. If it remained unclear between the two of us, which one would be the one to break the others heart?
I'd dig back both my sleeves fix your shattered bones, or mend your pain into something good, would you still love me. Or would you continue to betray me and love another man. Do you love me because I love you so much. If you remain silent and refuse to acknowledge my presence, how am I supposed to be there and watch you with someone who doesn't love you as much as I do. You can't keep someone forever.
And I can't make you love me. You can't fix me when I am unfixable. I can't change my looks. I can't fix my shattered heart. Only you can. But you won't because you're to busy doing that to someone else. You said you would never love me.
That's what I thought.
