Whiff of the wilderness. Breath of the wild AU.

Part -46-

-ten minutes of watching hyrule's funniest videos later-

"PFFFFFTTTT!! BWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!" I laughed, spitting the water out of my mouth.

"Wow, that's. . .sad" ghirahim scoffed at the person on the tv.

". . .i don't find this funny at all. THAT LOOKED SUPER PAINFUL!!" Cosmo said. He always found a way to put an end to something fun.

I switched channels, and the news was on. the sight of an intellectual television show made ghirahim freak out, "GAH!! TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!".

"Why!?" I asked him, "it's not like y-".

Before I could finish, Cosmo interrupted me, "wait- turn it up!".

I turned up the volume, "thank you, glendo! And now, to Ned with the weather".

The brown haired lady looked at the camera for about three seconds before the screen flipped to the weatherman, "t-thank y-you, t-traysi-. . .it's uhhh v-very c-cold h-here-. . . .T-That's all I-I got".

"Well, thanks anyway Ned" The news lady said before it went back to her, "now! Breaking news strikes again! That news being the fact that the princess of hyrule has been kidnapped!!".

"WHAT!?! ZELDA!?!" I gasped, jumping off the couch.

". . . .-oh! Sorry! I got my scripts mixed up, heheh" traysi giggled, shuffling her papers around, "here we go! Uhh, let's see, yep! The real news is that the princess's knight has been kidnapped".

"Wooo! What a relief!" I sighed, sitting back down next to ghirahim, ". . .WAIT!! LINK!?!?".

"Heheheh. Now I'm intrigued!" Ghirahim mumbled.

I glared at him.

". . .i mean. . .nooooooooo, not link" he said, trying to hold in the laugh.

I looked back at the tv.

"It says that a bunch of bandits snuck into the castle around a half hour ago. They were Hoping to take the princess. . .but got stuck with Luke! What a shame. Oops! I-I meant link! They must have been amateur thieves. Heehee. Yep! That's the big news!" The news reporter smiled, "this is traysi signing off for hyrule news. don't have a good day, have a great day!".

I turned off the tv, and dropped the controller, ". . .i saw him about twenty minutes or so ago! This makes no sense!".

"Why would anyone want to kidnap link?" Cosmo asked, sitting down beside me to my left.

"I-I don't know!" I exclaimed, "A bunch of thieves".

"When she said a bunch of 'thieves' it got me thinking" ghirahim said, rubbing his neck.

"Really? Do tell" Cosmo sarcastically scoffed.

I nudged his side, "what is it that you were thinking?".

"Well, obviously the yiga clan. But then I thought, 'why would those banana loving numbskulls want link?! They hate him!'. So with that out of mind, I then thought the zora. Mainly because of link's boyfriend, Simon is it?" Ghirahim started.

"It's Sidon. He's not links boyfriend! And why would he kidnap link? He is way too nice to do that!" I argued, glaring at him.

"Lux, my darling. . .he's a shark. . .a freaking shark!! Why the heck would he not kidnap link!!" Ghirahim yelled, waving his hands above his head.