I hate you so much, you wanna make out? (baku x kendo)

Part 9: Enemies Forever

Kendo POV
"Yo, tetsu, monoma, I got something to show you guys."
"Is it cool?"
"Depends on your definition of cool I guess."
"So it isn't cool?"
"Just shut the fuck up and follow me."

"Wow. An abandoned warehouse. Amazing kendo, I'm amazed."
"Shut up monoma, we're after what's inside the warehouse."
"Kendo, are we gonna rob this place?"
"What kinda person do you take me for tetsu?"
"I don't know, you're talking like we're gonna rob this place."
"Oh my god, let's just go inside."

"Aye itsu, what's- wait why are they here?"
"Yall gotta make peace."
"Well, that's gonna be tough."
"Yeah kendo, this guy is gonna try and get our whole class expelled."
"Okay, glad you guys made a reunion, but who the fuck are you guys? We're all in the dark over here."
"Who the hell are those guys?"
"We're the cool kids. What are you?"
"Nah, we're the cool kids."
"You're the one who got lured into a warehouse."
"You're the one staying in a warehouse."
"Are you the one that renovated it? Exactly."
"Why are you guys staying here? You on the run from the cops or something?"
"Basically."
"What'd we tell you kendo? Bakugou is gonna get you killed one day."
"Oh yeah, definitely."
"See?! He admitted it!"
"It won't matter though. Soba, a demonstration?"
"On it."
"D- did you just kill bakugou?"
"That's where the fun part comes in."
"And I'm back, good as new."
"What kinda shit is this?"
"Told you, we're the cool kids."
"This is- do we call the police?"
"Go ahead, Soba alone could hold em off."
"Oh please, you guys are no match for the fucking military."
"My hands are legally considered weapons, I am not allowed on planes."
"Bakugou, if it was up to me, I wouldn't allow you on planes either."
"Fair point. I am a living grenade."
"And that's like the only thing basically any of this little crew has. What does the red haired girl even do?"
"In about 10 seconds, a dog will bark. A bark of worry? Distress? You won't be able to tell. Then you realize there aren't any dogs around here, not for miles. The barks end, the footsteps draw near. Start running."
"Okay, that's what the red haired girl does-"
"Hold up, you say little?"
"Counting bakugou, there's 6 of you."
"Well actually, there's 143. They're just spread out."
"What?!"
"Hell you surprised for? Can't fit 143 people into a small fucking warehouse. And I can guarantee they could all kick your ass."
"Pffft, they could try."
"Even bakugou could beat you."
"You're kidding."
"Go on, punch him."
"Alright watch me. FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK, WHAT IS HE MADE OUT OF?!"
"We're not sure, it's nothing short of a medical miracle he is still alive."
"Kendo, these are the guys you hang out with?! You're gonna get lobotomised if the police ever find out!"
"That's a light punishment. We got 3 options if the cops find out. Total annihilation, a fate worse than total annihilation, and a fate worse than a fate worse than total annihilation."
"Kendo, you need to get out of here. SERIOUSLY. I can guarantee everyone here is banned in at least 3 countries."
"Bakugou isn't allowed anywhere except hawaii. He isn't even allowed here."
"Kendo, tetsu is right. These guys will get you killed!"
"Oh please, I can get katsu under control if something ever happens."
"No the fuck you can't."
"Yes the fuck I can."
"I am going to fight everyone in the world, and I'm going to win."
"No you ain't, chill out."
"I'm going to make the big bang seem like the little pop."
"Nah you won't. Now get me an otterpop."
"NO."
"Fuck you just say?"
"N O."
"I know you ass ain't talking back."
"ITSU, I AM SICK OF YOU BOSSING ME AROUND, I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN."
"Really? I thought you were into it."
"IM SO SICK AND T- Wait what do you mean by into it? Why would I be into it?"
"Because, you like being told what to do and given orders. Every time I get serious and tell you to do something you say yes ma'am and do it."
"NO THE FUCK I DON'T. THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED ONCE EVE-"
"Sit, now."
"Yes ma'am-"
"That's a good boy~ You like it when I talk to you like this?"
"Yes ma'am-"
"That's my good boy~ Keep up the good work!"
"Yes ma'am-"
"HAHA BAKUGOU, YOU'RE A BOTTOM."
"NO THE FUCK I AINT."
"Calm yourself."
"Yes ma'am-"
"Okay kendo, I trust you, you can keep bakugou under control. Just keep safe alright? These guys probably lobotomise small children for fun."