Cut To The Feeling (Reader x Professor Ren / Kylo Ren)

Nothing To Lose

She was about one hundred feet ahead of you, walking toward you. She was on her phone, and she was alone, so she didn't notice you. It was the perfect time. You looked around--no one was close enough to interfere as you unloaded on her. Your nostrils flared as you increased the speed in your step, trying to get to her quickly. 

"Hey! Katelyn!" You called out, making a beeline to her. 

She glanced up, squinting her eyes against the sun. She realized it was you, and her face changed to one that was melancholy. You were nearing her now, not very far from her. 

"Hey, I've got some shit to say to you," you said aggressively as you stopped in front of her.

"I don't really have much time this morning," she said your name and put her phone away. 

"Don't worry, it won't take long," you readjusted your backpack. "Please fucking tell me what you were thinking. I want to know your logic for being so goddamn despicable." You were managing to keep your voice level--firm and aggressive, but level. 

"What?" She tilted her head, grimacing.

"Why would you tell HR? Why would you report it to the school?" Your eyes were stinging, you weren't going to be able to hold on much longer. 

"I seriously don't know--"

"Katelyn, drop your bullshit and for once be authentic in your life. If you wanted to go on and be an absolute evil bitch and tell the school what you saw that night outside the bar, then you need to own up to it and be able to give me a fucking reason why," your voice cracked at the end of the sentence, tears collecting at the rim of your lid. "You know, I don't even need you to tell me. I just need you to know how badly you have fucked up. Whatever you were hoping to achieve through doing this--I don't understand. All you've done is potentially ruin someone's career and maybe even mine, and now, as far as I know, the whole campus knows about what happened, and they're talking about it, and now I won't be able to live out my semester in peace. I'm going to remember this last semester--which is supposed to be the most fun and glorious one or whatever--as the semester that everyone kept talking about that one slutty student who fucked her professor." You were going off the rails, crying outwardly now, your throat hoarse with pain and emotion. Katelyn was looking at you with crossed arms and wide eyes. "And it's all because you hate me for no reason. I tried to be nicer to you. I tried to do better, and it wasn't enough, and I'm so fucking angry and so sad, and I hate you. I fucking hate you." 

She looked at you with pure and total shock. She didn't have words, and you didn't really expect her to, but you suddenly felt awkward standing in the middle of the sidewalk breathing heavily and tears staining your shirt. "Well, say something, fuck" you sniffled. 

"I--uh," she shifted uncomfortably. "I--"

"What? So, now you're uncomfortable because I confronted you? Did you not think I would say anything?" You gasped for air. You were on the brink of a panic attack. 

"I'm speechless--I didn't--"

"You didn't think about it did you? You never do. You only think about yourself, and now here we are. I don't know that I'll be able to finish the school year," you knew you were ugly crying. You knew it. 

She said your name again, her tone one that was nothing like her normal one of sarcasm and condescension. "Look, I don't know wh--"

"I don't think I even want to hear what you have to say actually," you had the realization as you spoke to her. You started to walk forward, moving past her and continuing your determined trek to your apartment. 

As you walked forward, you heard her call your name behind you. You didn't turn around, instead you kept going--you were never going to speak to her again, and hopefully, never see her again.