The History Of You And Me

August 2017.

*Edited*

"Happy Birthday, hunny."

I barely hear my mother say over the phone as I try to escape the noise in my vicinity.

"Thank you, Mother, I miss you."

I practically shout as I make my way to my intruder to give him a piece of my mind. But to my surprise, said intruder grabs my phone and says, "Is that Freda? Let me talk to her."

"No, Olli - just.."
I try to fight him but he's way too big so I don't claim victory.

"Freda! how's my beautiful Queen doing?"
I finally groan in defeat then take the moment to go freshen up. I'll talk to my mother later.

As I make my way to the bathroom, I can't help but smile when I hear them engaged in one of their long banters again. I'd be a fool to try and wait for them to finish.

Even though I complain whenever Olli hijacks my mother's phone calls, there's something oddly fulfilling about them getting along. I'm not sure why yet.

I lay myself comfortably in the bathtub after entering the bathroom and then I let my thoughts hang loose.

The past two months have been really great.

I mean sure I haven't yet found my life purpose and I'm still living in my friend's apartment, but getting to figure things out at my own pace, without my dad's constant scrutiny and judgment has been the greatest thing I could've ever asked for. It's allowing me to see the world through my own eyes.

I hadn't realized before how badly I sought his approval, even with the knowledge that he's the most impossible man to impress.

My whole life I've lived under the shadow of my sister's 'disappoints'.

Growing up I felt like his personal project to undo all the wrongs she'd done. Like he wanted to prove that he could do a better job with me.

Of course that meant constant scrutiny for me. Doing only what he deemed 'acceptable'. I couldn't dare disappoint Father. I knew what would happen if I did... my sister is the proof that's not living anymore.

I let a lone tear make its way out of my eye at the memory of losing Mimi. I don't know how I managed to survive without her. 

I miss her more today. No matter what trouble my sister would be in, she always made sure to never miss my birthday. It was the only day I was guaranteed to see her.

"Bella, you've been in here for over an hour. Everyone will be here soon."

My disrespectful roommate suddenly barges into the bathroom, to my horror. I stopped shouting at him to knock on the door the first 15 times he didn't.

"Hey, are you ok?"
I hear him ask softly, seemingly taking note of the tears on my face. He makes his way closer to me and sits outside the tub, right next to me.

"Is it the party? It is, isn't it? You know what, I'll tell them not to come."

He panics as he says and I can't help but laugh slightly through the tears. He's really the sweetest.