The History Of You And Me

December 2025.

Three months before...

My face mimics that of my husband as he stands looking at the scene before him.

Pain, confusion, and heartbreak.

What have I done?

"Get out! Get the hell out of my house!"
He attempts to shout but his voice comes out as a whisper.

"Olli..."
Mine does too.

As Kamo stumbles to pick up his clothes to leave, I shamefully put on a robe and make my way to my husband who now sits on the bed chair with tears streaming down his face. My eyes travel down to his legs to see the bouquet of flowers he'd brought with him.

I'm reminded of what today is.

"Olli, please... I'm so sorry."
I wish I could explain why. I wish I could justify what just happened but I can't.

It doesn't matter that we were barely talking to each other, it doesn't matter that he barely touched me, I had a husband. How could I have acted so irresponsibly? How could I do something so vile to the man who means the world to me?

He just sits there, staring at a wall. The only sound he manages to make is sniffles and loud breaths.

His mind is running a mile a minute and his hands shake nervously. I've never seen him like this. What have I done?

After a few moments of contemplation, I see him stiffen his knuckles, like he wanted to go after the man who's now left the room to beat him up but we both know he's not a fighter.

I have a seat next to him in an attempt to calm him down. I touch his fisted hand and he immediately softens it, breaking my heart further. Even after doing such a bizarrely horrid thing he would never make me feel threatened, like he would do something to me even though I deserve it.

I finally rest my face on the crook of his neck once I sense a lack of restraint and he lets me. He's not angry anymore, he's sad; hurt. I want more than anything to erase the last few hours.

"Why?"
He whispers at last and all I manage to give him is a wave of tears.

"Why?!"
He tries again. A little louder this time.

"I don't know. I thought you didn't want me Olli. I was really hurt, I felt ugly. But that's no excuse. If I could take it back I would. All of it."

His face gives a series of expressions: anger, confusion, contemplation, and then back to sadness.

"It was my fault."
He says after a while and his response doesn't surprise me, it angers me.
It's baffling that he would even think to blame himself.

"No it wasn't!"

"It was! I gave you too much space. I made you feel unwanted."
He continues to say, further breaking my heart into a million pieces.

"You were distant Olli. But this... this is my doing. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with my own insecurities. I thought... I thought you were cheating on me."

"What?! I would never do that to you Bella. I love you so much."
He says and I believe him. He never cheated on me. He would never do that, no matter what.