The History Of You And Me

April 2018.

We did it. We got married.

The plan was to have a small ceremony with all our loved ones, nothing too fancy. His family, mine, and our closest friends. But we simply couldn't wait. Plus the wedding pressure was getting to me a bit and he didn't like that very much.

So,

'Screw the whole thing. Let's go get married right now.'
He'd said to me.

I'd looked at him like the crazy man that he was and then said,
'Let's do it!'

It was the most amazing and intimate experience of my life and I wouldn't have done it any different.

So now as we drive home from the courthouse, I can't help but,
"I love you so much Mr. Harris."
The words seem so simple. Too simple.

Truth is I cannot put in words how I'm feeling right now, how he makes me feel. I am on a literal cloud 9.

To be able to call this man my husband was a distant dream. The only reason it was so distant was that I didn't think it would've happened so soon. I didn't allow myself to dream too much about it because I guess I didn't want to put my hopes high.

Or maybe everything was already so perfect with us that I didn't think it was possible to exceed that level of perfection.

But even though I knew the man loved me, I didn't know he saw himself doing that with me, or with anyone to be frank.

We never really talked about marriage much, or anything beyond that.

The simple reason for this is that we didn't date for long, and we never really talked about relationships when we were friends.

I think it was just awkward because we'd always wanted to be with each other, not with the people we were with at the time. Mentioning them felt like a painful reminder that we weren't together.

So we never talked about whether we would individually want to have kids and get married one day. In all fairness though, I didn't know I wanted those things for myself either. I guess growing up and seeing mom experience the things that she did with dad made me question whether I wanted to go down that path.
Like if that's what marriage is, then I don't know if I want it.

Being with Olli has completely reintroduced and transformed that concept for me. He made me see that it didn't have to be like mom and dad, it could be more beautiful and consistent.

It could be going somewhere for a mere few minutes but desperately wishing to be at home with that person, not dread going back home at all. It could be getting to wake up next to your best friend every single morning for the rest of your life.

Marriage can mean more than just a contract and I don't think I would've wanted this with anyone else.

"I love you too Mrs. Harris."
He says with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on mine. The butterflies in my tummy go wild at that, I will truly never get used to hearing it.

"Mom's gonna kill us."
I say with a chuckle only now realizing not a lot of people will be jumping with joy at our choice to elope.

A few of my family members had already gotten plane tickets for our nuptials. Mom couldn't wait, and pretty much everyone we invited cleared their calendars for the day. I truly want to let this bother me, I do. But all that's in my mind is the beautiful specimen that sits beside me.