The History Of You And Me

January 2022.

What happens when you leave emotions and frustrations swallowed up? What happens when you ignore your heart's discontent and dissatisfaction for too long? I'll answer that with another question.

What happens when you leave your laundry undone for years? Dirty and smelly laundry just laying around unattended.
I'll tell you what doesn't happen. It doesn't just disappear.

It builds up.

It makes a feast of your soul and drowns you to the depth of depression and insanity. Leaving you to pick up the pieces that are left with each inevitable outburst.

The longer you leave it undone the more congested and heavier it gets. The longer you wait and do nothing about it, the harder it gets to get rid of the dirty laundry.

"So how can I help you guys today?"
I shift uncomfortably on the sofa to somehow escape my reality.

My fingers twiddle with each other and my eyes can't seem to find an object to settle on.

"We uhh... our marriage is in trouble. We need your help."
The words barely make it out of my mouth.

I've imagined this ever being my reality.

Going to therapy in the early years of marriage is arguably the worst-case scenario in many couples' matrimony.

It is not something you're proud to tell your friends and family about. You don't go announcing it to every person you meet. And you certainly don't find joy in doing it.

For the most part, it is shamed upon.

It represents failure, at least that's how the masses see it.

'Things were so bad they had to get outside help,'
Is probably a sentence that accurately sums it up.

They see it as the beginning of the end.

I personally never experienced therapy, not even when my sister died. My parents never quite believed in it. They were taught to just stick it through, and thus taught me to do the same.

They don't believe in mental instability, that's not a thing to them. They think talking through your feelings makes you weak, and that our biggest setbacks make for better outcomes. Of course I believe the latter. What we go through does make us stronger but does that mean we should ignore our unhappy hearts? Live a miserable life filled with glimpses of happy moments.

My parent's ways haven't quite worked well for them so my first thought was to do the exact opposite of what they'd done.

"I see. Did something happen that brought about the decision to come and see me?"

I turn my head to look at Olli only to catch him already looking at me.

I don't think things have ever gotten this bad.

I'm scared and I can see he is too.

————————
A few weeks earlier...

I walk along the not-so-very busy streets of the lavish Cape Town suburb with Billie on a leash.

He doesn't like weekends because his friends aren't around, they're with their families.