Love And It's Daydreams

A lifetime ago

He was the one. My boy. I knew he was. I was his and he was mine. Until...

Everyday. No matter how good or bad. He would be there. Waiting. I'd come out of high school and his arms would hug my worries and fears away. His lips kissed away my stress of the day behind me. He was my saviour.

I didn't need anyone else. He was my everything. My old friends kept texting me but he was my best friend and my boyfriend all at the same time. I didn't need them.

I thought I didn't need them.

School was lonely. I had no-one. But I could look forward to our meeting after school. Girls would stare with jealousy as we embraced by the love tree.

That's what we called it. Before school we would say farewell as we went our separate ways. I used to sit there at lunch, alone, doing homework and texting him. After school we met there. The love tree.

Now I don't think of it as the love tree, more of the memories tree.

Every Sunday we went to watch his favourite football team. I don't like football, I never did. But he did, that was all that mattered.

Once a week we'd go for a 'mighty nighty out'. At least that's what he called it. We'd go to the cinema or to a restaurant and have a romantic time out.

I barely saw my parents or sister. They barely saw me. But he was my all and my life. No-one else mattered. I didn't need anyone else in my life.

Until...

He didn't turn up at the love tree. I waited. The tree was cold against my back. I phoned him. Again and again. His voice on the answer machine bounced around my hollow head. Echoing.

The walk home was lonely. I missed his comforting arm over my shoulder. His warm breath against my cheek. The silence was deafening.

A couple walked in front of me. Their hands intwined. My hand lay cold against my leg, empty.

I found myself walking to his house. I had no reason to go to mine. I was not wanted.

I know now it's me who didn't want them. They wanted me very much, but I was a lost cause.

When I arrived I got my key out and opened the door. I called his name. Giggling came from upstairs. I crept upstairs. Not wanting to disturb anyone. His door was half open. I walked in...

He stood next to the wall pressing his lips to a new girl.

My breathing became heavy. My heart ached. I clenched the door handle. They were just a blur in the distance getting further and further away. The world spun and...

Darkness

I hit the ground.