The Secrets You Keep

Memories

It's been a few days since I left Geneva and the flashbacks won't stop flooding in. The flashbacks of the first time we made love, our trip together, and how she was there for me when I was dealing with my mother. Despite how I may feel about her right now, those memories will always stick with me because it's a reminder that everything wasn't always fucked up and we did love each other at some point.

I honestly don't know what made her change but sometimes people just change and you don't always find out why. I put the finishing touches on a paper for my Sociology class, hit submit, and close my laptop. I'll be graduating in a few months but I've been putting it in the back of my mind because of my issues with Geneva. My mind starts to blank out again...damn it I miss her.

I snap back to reality when my phone starts ringing. It's Travis, he probably heard about what happened and what's the full story.

"Yo Cameron, what's been going on it's been days." He asks.

"You didn't hear? Me and Geneva split up again."

"Damn what now?" He sighs.

"She came home from the church a couple of days ago and she wouldn't look me in the face and practically ran out of the kitchen to take a shower which isn't like her, so she hops out of the shower and I asked her what the problem was, and out of nowhere she starts crying and I automatically knew that she just left from fucking David." "Before I blew my lid I packed my shit and left, I'm downtown in a suite at the Westin."

"Whoa are you serious? She's still fucking with that weird, abusive preacher?"

"I'm as serious as a heart attack, I swear man I don't even know why I let her play me like that." I rub the temples of my head slowly and take a deep breath.

"Don't think of it like that, y'all had y'all fun but she got some issues she gotta work out wit herself before she can be in another serious relationship." Travis says.

"Listen, send me the address of your hotel, we can't have you all sad and shit, we going out drinking."

We end our call and I send him my hotel number before hopping in the shower, and changing into a fresh baby blue jogger set and pulling my locs into a simple ponytail. I really don't feel like going out tonight, but I need something to take my mind off Geneva and school so, fuck it.

After 20 minutes, Travis pulls up and we head down to Frenchmen Street for drinks and music. We spend a good two hours on Frenchmen before Travis gets pissy drunk so, I take him back to his place and head back to my suite. I ended up with a few phone numbers from girls that were tourists' but, I toss them in the trash once I get back to my room, order some takeout and start watching ESPN. I hate this feeling of being by myself but I would rather be like this instead of constantly being lied to and cheated on.

My phone is ringing again, this time it's my mom I take another deep breath before exhaling and answering.

"Hi Cameron, I heard from some women at the church about what happened between you and Geneva." "Are you okay?" "Where are you?" She asks.

"I'm fine, I got a suite downtown... I'm at the Westin...I've just been laying low and trying to get over this whole thing."

"Listen honey, I know I give you so many problems about your relationship with Geneva, but, I just want you to know that I think about you all the time and I don't ever want you heart to broken."

Hearing my mother say that she's been thinking of me and doesn't want me to be hurt makes a tear slip from my eye. It seems like when one relationship falls apart another one gets healed and I've been fighting for almost two years to get my mother to understand me fully, and now that she's coming around I have hope.

"Thanks mom, I'm glad that you called to check in." "What else have those nosy church ladies been telling you?" I laugh.

"A lot of things especially about Geneva and how she was still sleeping with David behind your back, and how David got himself a young girl too and she's supposedly pregnant with his baby." "This is all a mess Cameron."

"I know mama." "I forgave her the first time, but she came home and I could just see how guilty she was and it made me so upset."

"Well, I'm glad you got away from her." "Do you think you two will ever get back together or be friendly?"

"Honestly, I really don't know." "If fate puts us back in each others' lives I'm sure it will be for a reason but, for right now I think it's best we be apart while she works on herself."

"That's a good way of thinking about it Cameron." "Listen I want you to get some sleep, it's getting late." "Me and your father are coming by your suite tomorrow and we are going to go out for brunch."

"Alright mama, I'll see you tomorrow."

I slowly fall asleep watching the TV and reminiscing of the last year of my life. The tears slowly roll down my cheeks and the memories keep coming back in, but I have to let go of this before I drown in the a sea of what was.