The Secrets You Keep

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

It's been almost a week since the incident with the pastor. I haven't spoken to my parents about anything from the meeting because I'm still trying to figure it out myself, and I honestly don't want to hear my parents nagging me about it. However, tonight I might catch nagging and who knows what else. We were invited to the Mitchell's luxury downtown condo for dinner. I had plans to hang out with my childhood friend Travis but, my parents in particular my mother, had other ideas for me.

It's 8:30 and I'm dressed and ready to go, Pastor Mitchell sent a private car to come and pick us up at 9:00. During the ride, I took a look out the window while my parents go on and on about how great the Pastor and her husband are and how tonight is going to be amazing, if only they knew what I know about the pastor I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be so excited.

As we pull into the parking structure connected to the luxury apartments, I check the time on my Apple Watch, take a deep breath and get out of the car with my parents; and walk towards the elevator that goes up to the top floor where the Mitchell's live. After we exit the elevator, the same assistant that I saw last week welcomes us and takes into the apartment.

Shit, these people are loaded. As soon as we  walk in there is white marble flooring everywhere and plush white furniture with gold trimming. This place looks like something straight out of Dynasty or Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous. Pastor Mitchell is sitting on the couch in front of a massive flat screen tv and gets up to greet and hug my parents.

"Pastor, you have a lovely home, God has truly blessed you!" My mother compliments.

"Thank you so much Sister Victor." "Follow me to the dinning area, dinner is almost done, so let's all get seated and open up some wine." She says while taking my hand gently and walking us over to the large dinner table.

I quickly snatch my hand away from her grip and take a seat at the table and check my phone for any notifications. I look up for a second and my mother cuts her eye at me, signaling me to put my phone away and be polite. I can't wait until I can get my own place and get away from these stuck up, performative ass parents of mine. Dinner is served, and the chef is putting a plate in front of me, but I can't seem to muster up a appetite. I eventually manage to take a few bites of food then slowly push my plate away from me.

"So Cameron, how is your schooling going?" Dr. Mitchell asks.

"It's going well, I'm in the middle of my last two semesters before graduation." I reply dryly.

"That's amazing!" "What are you studying again?" He asks pretending to care and make small talk.

"Business and Finance." At this point I'm beyond irritated and he can sense it, he wraps up quickly.

"It's really good to see you taking pride in your education Cameron." Pastor Mitchell says smiling while my parents nod in approval.

"Thank you." I flash a fake smile while cringing a little bit, remembering our last encounter together.

After dinner, my father and Dr. Mitchell go out onto patio and play and chess while my mother and I sit and chat with Pastor Mitchell. The conversation quickly shifts in my direction and my mother begins to ask about our meeting. And so the grilling begins. God, can this night get any more insufferable?

"Pastor, how is Cameron doing?" "What do you suggest our next steps be in her path towards deliverance?"

"Well, judging from our initial meeting, Cameron is a very well rounded young woman and she has the potential to be on the path of deliverance."

Bullshit! She is clearly making all this up on the spot trying to make it seem like she's really helping me, but in reality she's attracted to me and just so happens to be getting paid in the process. My mother is so gullible that she hasn't picked up on any of it. For right now, it actually would be best if she didn't know anything because if she found out what happened between her daughter and beloved pastor, she would keel over and probably die. My mother is in denial about a lot of different aspects of me and my life, which is to be expected from her. She is so focused on having the perfect Christian family that she has no issue with denying the traits within us that make us who we are.

I sit at the dinner table alone while everyone else breaks away and starts doing their own thing. I forgot to use the bathroom before we left the house so, I make my way one of the bathrooms down the hall. I hear arguing from a bedroom across from the bathroom and instantly realize that it's Pastor Mitchell and Dr.Mitchell. I can't really tell what they are fighting about, but I can spot their voices from a mile away. After I take care of my business in the bathroom, I wash my hands and head back to the living room pretending not to hear the fighting. 10 minutes goes by before Pastor and Dr.Mitchell make their way out of the bedroom. Pastor's eyes are red from crying and Dr. Mitchell has beads of sweat across his forehead from yelling at her. Despite the friction in the air tonight, my parents and the Mitchell's continue to talk, play cards, and drink fancy bourbon.

The night is winding down and we getting ready to head home. But before we can even say our goodbyes Dr. Mitchell and the pastor, along with my parents figure that it would be a great idea to pray over me. I've been over this night ever since we left the house, and the more time passes the more these hypocrites are pissing me off. After the almost 10 minute prayer, we finally say our goodbyes and Pastor slips me a small card with her phone number and email on it and tells me to call her any time.

"Cameron I'm sorry about all of this, call me anytime." She whispers in my ear while hugging me.

On our way back home, I can't help but begin to feel a little bit of  sympathy for Pastor Mitchell. It's obvious that she doesn't want to convert me and that she is starting to really like me. Plus, she dealing with what seems to be fucked up husband in a loveless marriage. However, the feelings that she has buried within herself for many years are starting to boil back up towards the surface. The pressure and stigma in the black church when comes to sexuality and gender expressions is so thick that it could cause anybody to crack under the crushing weight of keeping up with appearances.