The Secrets You Keep

Heatwave

*Two Weeks Later*

I climb out of bed, peel off my sweaty clothes and head to the bathroom to take a cool shower. It's supposed to be 110 and humid as hell today, living in New Orleans you get used to it but today, it's aggravating me. Geneva finally got cleared to be released from the hospital and is back home so I'm going to the house to get the rest of my clothes.

Before I stop by the house, I grab a cold gatorade from the gas station and start my trip 15 minute drive to the house. I park outside and ring the doorbell to get in since I left my keys the night me and Geneva broke up. She opens the door, with a smile and wipes the sweat from above my lip while looking at me with the same puppy eyes she used to give when we were together, when we were happy. I notice her wrists are still bandaged up and she's talking slower from being on psych medication.

"Come in Cam and get out of this heat." She says closing the door behind us. "Are you hungry?" "I can make you something to eat."

"No I'm okay, I don't plan on staying long I just want to get the rest of my stuff and go." I start walking upstairs towards the bedroom and Geneva follows behind.

"Cam, just wait a second, can we talk before you start ripping apart the walk-in closets looking for your stuff?" She says chuckling softly.

"Ripping apart the walk-in closet? That's a little dramatic don't you think?" I reply sarcastically.

I really don't know why she thinks I'm here to stay and hangout. Maybe it's the anti-depressants, I love Geneva as a person and I'll always care about her but, I realize now that giving our relationship another try would be shooting myself in the foot for no reason other than enjoying being in a fucked up situation, and I can't stand being in fucked up situations.

"Well, all I'm saying is that you don't have to rush out of the house with your stuff, I want you here." She reaches out to caress the back of my shoulder softly.

I walk to the other side of the accessory counter to look across from Geneva and look her in the eyes with mild irritation.

"Geneva don't start this touchy feely shit today alright?" "I care about you, but you know we are never going to work out again and..."

Before I can finish my sentence, the power shuts off. Fuck! This day is not working out at all. I'll be a dried up prune before I leave this house if the air conditioning doesn't kick back on. I stop grabbing my clothes and shoes, then start heading downstairs to check the doors hoping they are working.

They run on a security system that automatically locks the doors when the power goes out to prevent break-ins and have a touch sensor so that you can open the door from the inside and outside but, with no power it's completely useless. I always hated these doors but Geneva swore by them when she got them installed. I'm stuck in the house with my ex in the middle of a Louisiana heatwave. Why me God?!?! I plop down on the couch and wipe the sweat off my forehead.

"Well it looks like you'll be here for a while after all." Geneva says starting to laugh and sits beside me on the couch. "Now, do you want something to drink before the sodas start to get hot?"

I give in and accept her offer while she quickly runs to the kitchen to grab the drinks. I settle in my spot on the couch and pull out my phone, luckily I left my place with a full charge. Geneva comes back and hands me the soda before sitting down again.

"Cameron it's okay, I know why you aren't too crazy about me and I was wrong for how I treated you in our relationship but since we are stuck here, you can relax because this is still your home."  Geneva says while looking at me as I my eyes are still fixed on my phone.

I exhale slowly, trying to relax and not go into a heatstroke. I place my phone back in my pocket, she is crazy about me even though I still feel hurt about the day I left the house.

"G, I trusted you and you took my trust, stomped on it, went behind my back and slept with the man that treated you like dirt for years and made me believe that everything was okay when it clearly wasn't." I take a sip of my soda and turn to look at her. "Then on top of that you traumatize me again by trying to kill yourself because I left!"

Geneva gently grabs my hand trying to calm my frustration and anger, I hate to admit it but it's working.

"I love you with every fiber in my being Cameron and you know that." "I was wrong... I should have spent more time trying to work through my issues instead of running away from them and you." "I'm sorry Cameron, I'm so sorry."

The room is quiet, I can hear the crickets outside in the distance. I try to remember what my mother told me the last time we spoke, and starting piecing through my emotions the best way I can, this is going to take awhile.

I finally gather my thoughts before speaking again.

"That's all I've wanted from you." "I want you to heal the right way." "I don't know if you thought our relationship was I way for you to escape those deep seated issues but, I never got into this wanting to put all my issues on you and vice versa." Our fingers lock together and for a moment I'm able to ignore the muggy heat and sweat starting to drip from my face.

"You're right, I was trying to find an escape in you because I wanted to be just like you." "I watched how you acted and the way you fought so hard against the way your parents treated you and I wished that I could put up the same fight against David and the church, but I couldn't."  Geneva says while wiping a single tear away.

"Geneva I understand that, but you shouldn't strive to be like me, you should be your own person while being able to love me and respect the fight that I went though to keep our relationship right." "G, please I need you to make me a promise." "I want you to promise me that once we get out of here that you'll do the work necessary to heal and see a therapist." "I'll be more than willing to see one too or I'll even go to a couples' therapist with you."

"I promise Cameron, I swear you have my word this time and I won't disappoint you again, ever."

Hours go by and before I know it, it's 9:00 and the moon is shining as it finally cools down a little bit. I find some tools in the basement and try working on the door, I quickly get tired and head upstairs to try and get some rest. Geneva and I fall asleep beside each other and it instantly takes me back to the first time we laid next to each other. I hope she really means all she says this time, I can't keeping putting myself through this shit when it comes to this relationship.