The Secrets You Keep

What's Done In The Dark

I wipe the sweat from my brow and button my blouse quickly and David zips his pants back up. I promised, I swore to Cameron I would never do anything to hurt her again but somehow, I always end up fucking up. It's been weeks since we've spent time together due to my schedule but that doesn't excuse anything. I went out of my way to make it up to Cameron only to allow a snake to tempt me like the snake tempted Eve in the garden.

"You know the little dyke is gonna be on to us again right?" David says laughing while put his dress shirt back on.

"What did I tell you about calling her that?!" "I already feel bad about this there's no need further rub salt in the wound." I quickly fix my hair and sort the papers on my desk neatly.

"When are you going to stop playing around Geneva?" "You've never been this way before but this last year you've went from leaving me and bouncing between me and that young girl you've got living with you." "Listen, I'm not a fan of her at all hell, she seduced my wife and moved into our home but damn, you need to be honest with her."

"First of all, you left our marriage way before I did so don't you dare start playing moral police here!" "Secondly, Cameron didn't seduce me, she hated me for weeks before we ever started dealing with each other." "Believe it or not, I still love her David and I can't understand myself and why I keep coming back here to meet with you in secret like this."

I look out the window of my office towards the busy traffic below. I'm doing so much damage to someone who's been through so much, this is going to break her heart once again.

"You keep coming back here because you don't know what you want and you somehow think you can balance it all out at once and you can't!" "Listen, since were being honest here, I missed you Geneva and when we ran into each other a while back, the feelings came back."

"David, cut the shit okay!" "You never loved me and I never loved you." "We got together because our parents' put us together, you're just saying all this to cover up the fact that you enjoy playing games and the challenge of fighting for my attention and love from a 24 year old." "You're childish, selfish, and you enjoy this." "To simply put it, you're sick!"

"I'm going home, I don't ever want to see you again, and don't call my cell or home ever again."

I grab my briefcase and walk out of the door with tears streaming down my face, not because of David, but because I have to go home and try to pretend like nothing is happening behind Cameron's back. I feel so sick with myself right now. As I slowly pull into the garage I wipe the tears away, pull myself together one last time and walk into the house.

"Hey, where were you?" Cameron asks.

"Um, I ran over to the office for a meeting and some paperwork that needed to be sorted out." I reply quickly.

Before I give her a chance to respond, I put my head down and nearly jump out of my skin to get to the bathroom and wash the guilt and sweaty desk sex off. After my shower, I bury my dirty clothes into the bin and change into sweats and one of Cameron's oversized t-shirts. Cameron enters the bedroom behind me and I jump nervously.

"G, I don't want to start a fight but, you never looked at me when you came into the house, what's going on?" Cameron slowly lifts my chin to meet with her eyes, I'm shaking like a puppy and the tears start again.

"Why are crying?" "G, what is going on with you?" Her eyes are stone serious and it feels like they are staring straight into my soul. I try to speak but the words won't come out, just more tears and guilt. I finally catch my breath and start trying to speak.

"Baby...I...I'm sorry, I made a promise to you that I couldn't keep." I look down in pure shame.

"What are you talking about?" Cameron asks. The room falls silent just like it did the first time I confessed my sin to her, and it takes no time at all for her to realize what I'm talking about.

Soft chuckles escape from Cameron and I can tell she trying not to punch a hole through the wall and cry like a baby.

"You know, it seems like every other week you make promises to me and you end up fucking me over every single time." "I've managed to love you through a lot of shit, but you run to somebody who never loved you through anything and took your church away from you." "I'm tired of all this, I've allowed you to get away with just about everything, you've broken my heart for the last time."

Cameron goes into the walk-in closet and packs up all of her clothes in three suitcases and heads for the door. I run down the stairs after her trying to catch the angel I've damaged and lied to, my last chance at happiness and the only person that truly loved me but, Cameron slams the door behind her and just like that the world is closing in around me and I feel a chill deep within me and all I can do is cry at the door like a small child.