I am glad Chloe is there to help me. When I settle down, doon lamang kami bumalik sa loob ng hall kung saan nagaganap ang Party ni Letty.
“Are you sure you want to stay?” nag-aalalang tanong sa akin ni Chloe. Tumango lamang ako. I should not act like this. I should not be like this. Dahil una pa lang, alam ko ng walang kami. At sino nga ba naman ako para umasa? Compare to all the women he dated before, walang-wala ako sa kanila.
The party continued, pero kahit na lokohin ko pa ang sarili ko, alam kong hindi ako okay. But my eyes still look for him, pero hanggang sa matapas ang party ni Letty ay hindi ko na siya nakita pa. Hindi ko na nakita pa ang kapatid niya.
After the party, Chloe and I stayed on the resort with Letty. Nauna na ang parents ni Chloe na umuwi ng Manila.
“Thank you for today, girls. Goodnight!” saad niya at niyakap naman namin ang isa’t isa. Pero bago pa man kami matulog ay nag-ring ang phone ni Chloe.
“I’ll be back.” Saad niya sa amin ni Letty at lumabas na ng kwarto kung nasaan kami. Dahil sa sobrang pagod at bigat ng damdamin na aking nararamdaman ay hindi ko namalayan na ginapo na ako ng kadiliman.
Lumipas ang isang linggo at mas naging busy na kami sa school, the three of us will be in college on the next school year kaya pinag-hahandaan ko na ang lahat, the three of us are planning to take exams around the university belt. Mas gugustuhin ko na ding lumipat dahil alam kong Malaki na ang nagagastos sa akin ng mga magulang ni Chloe.
Malapit na din naman akong tumuntong sa legal age kaya naman nakakasigurado akong makakahanap ako ng part time job sa pupuntahan kong school. I was about to enter the SHS building ng makita ko si Diego. I blocked his number at simula ng araw na iyon ay hindi na kami nakakapag-usap pa. Palagi ko siyang iniiwasan at tinataguan. Kahit wala akong ginawang kasalanan, ako na lamang ang dumistansiya at lumayo.
“Gracia!” He called me. Pero mas binilisan ko pa ang lakad ko. Bakit niya ba ako sinusundan? Hinahabol? Ano pang kailangan niya sa akin?
I was taken aback ng may malaking kamay ang humawak sa aking palapulsuhan.
“Why are you acting like this?” There is a hint of annoyance on his voice. Bakit nga baa ko umaakto ng ganito? Ganong wala namang kami.
Napatingin ako sa paligid. Some students were looking at us kaya napailing na lang ako.
“Come with me.” He said. Kaagad niya akong hinila at wala naman akong nagawa kung hindi ang mag-patangay sa kaniya. Tila bagang hindi niya alintana ang mga matang naka-tingin sa amin. Napayuko na lamang ako.
We went to his car at kaagad naman niyang pinaandar ito. He is acting like nothing is wrong. He always acts like this. Kumakalabog ang loob ko. Iniwas ko ang aking mata at tumingin sa labas ng bintana. He is talking to me habang nagmamaneho siya pero walang salita ang pumapasok sa tenga ko. I cannot understand the words he utters.
Bakit hinyaan ko ang sarili ko na sumama sa kaniya? Bakit?
A tear escape into my eyes as I remember the night, I saw him kissing another woman. Kahit na hindi kami alam kong nasaktan ako. Alam kong nasasaktan ako. Dahil gusto ko siya. Ayokong maging mapanghangad pero gusto ko siya. Gusto ko si Diego. I like him so much that it hurts seeing him with another woman.
“Hey… Are you okay? Are you mad at me? Why? Tell me, hmm.” Malambing na saad niya hindi ko namalayang nasa pribadong lugar na kami. I wipe my eyes at tsaka tumingin sa paligid. It’s like we are in the park, maraming puno ang nasa paligid.
Nakaramdam ako ng bulta-bultaheng kuryente ng humawak siya sa akin.
“Gracia, hey… Talk to me.” Arg! Why is he talking to me like this?
“Please, Kuya. Ibalik mo na lang ako sa school.” Saad ko at naramdaman ko ang paninigas ng kaniyang anyo sa paraan ng pag-sabi ko sa kaniya.
“Gracia. Hindi tayo babalik ng school hangga’t hindi mo sinasabi sa akin kung bakit ka nagkakaganiyan. Tell me... Anong nagawa kong mali? We are very okay bago pa mag-simula ang birthday ni Chloe. You even blocked me. I tried texting and calling you dahil hindi na ako nakabalik ng party pero hindi ka sumasagot. What’s wrong?” I could feel the frustration from his voice.
I look at him. Eye to eye… But a tear escape from my eye. He immediately wipe it...
“I saw you…. I saw you kissing another woman that night Diego! I saw you! And tell me, why I shouldn’t act like this? We are okay… We are talking to each other dearly… And just like that? You are kissing another woman for petes sake! You even spent the night with here, am I right? Yes, hindi tayo! But you showed me signals!” I could feel the pain and anger on my tone.
Pero kita ko ang pagkabigla sa kaniya. Acting surprised?
“No, no, you get it wrong… That woman is nothing. I pushed her after she kissed me. We are nothing, Gracia. That woman is drunk! She is my ex. I didn’t even know that she was invited in the party. We went to beach side dahil lasing siya at baka gumawa siya ng gulo sa party ni Letty. Hindi ko siya gusto, dahil iba ang gusto ko, dahil ikaw ang gusto ko, Gracia!”
“After that incident, I went back inside para sana hanapin ka but you were not there. Kayo ni Chloe, wala kayo sa loob ng hall. And that is the time my dad called me, I tried texting and calling you para i-explain na hindi na ako makakabalik dahil dad asked me to fix things in the company but you were not answering my calls.”
“Hmm. Believe me, Gracia. Ikaw ang gusto ko, wala ng iba pa. I won’t show signals to you if I do not like you. I showed you signals because I like you. I am just waiting for you. You are still 17, you are still a minor, that’s why I wanted to court you pag nasa tamang edad ka na. But I like you for so long… Hmmm. I just wanted to wait for things to be right.”
“But if you will act like this, distant to me, you are giving me no choice but to ask you to me by girl.”
I suddenly found myself crying. Is it true? Does he really like me? That he wanted me to be his girlfriend?
“Cut that doubt, Gracia. I like you. I really do. Hmm.” Malambing na saad niya at pinunasan ang mga luha sa aking mata. He look at me dearly, he stared at my eyes with mixed emotions. Awe? Surprise? I can’t name it.
“You are the woman that I like, you are the woman that I wanted to kiss, that’s why I pushed her. It is you that I like, Gracia.”
With that, hindi ko na namalayan ang sarili kong nakahalik sa kaniyang mga labi. I know, I am being too marupok. Pero sorry, I still like Diego. He is sincere. I like him. No, I really really like him.
BINABASA MO ANG
Gracia (Trans-Story)
Genel Kurgu"I am Gracia Del Luna, a transwoman. A woman." I proudly smiled as I said those words. No one can take it away from me. I am Gracia. .... DISCLAIMER! This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, busi...
