✅ My Sister's Problem

16. No Escape

"Yeah, hope you enjoy it," I said with a smirk, waving quickly as Harper turned towards her house. I paused for a second as she walked up the path; not necessarily because my friend had anything to say in response, but because my attention was captured by her big brother. He really was talented, and I hoped that some day I could be so good at something; anything, really. I mean, I had pretty great hockey skills, and I knew I could hold my own against most of the players on the local teams. But Hugo was something else again; you could tell he was set for greatness just by looking at him.

It was a few minutes before I realised how I was looking at him. It wasn't like I was staring; or maybe I was. But when he lined up to take a shot at the hoop on the front of the house, dodging imaginary defenders, I was mentally following the position of his hips, and the way his shoulders twisted. I was following his gaze, trying to predict the path of the ball in my mind's eye. Maybe that was a sign I was getting better; if I could understand his movements, that must surely mean I was getting closer to being able to replicate some of them. I might not be there yet, but at least I knew what to look for. Of course, it wouldn't be so much fun if I didn't get a chance to stare at the cute guy's abs, and I was sure he must expect that kind of attention (why else would he practise without a shirt?), so I gave the toned muscles a few minutes of my attention too. But that didn't mean I was obsessed or anything, not like the groupies desperate for his attention.

When I got inside, the first thing I did was run upstairs for a bath. I needed it, and I was glad to have thrown a sweat-soaked team uniform in the laundry hamper at the top of the stairs. Sometimes I wished the air could be a bit cooler on practice days; but until I got super powers I was stuck with feeling like my clothes were trying to meld into my body, clinging at every possible point.

After dinner, the time passed in a blur. I had to catch up with friends, finish the last of the homework we had been left with on Friday, and avoid distracting myself too much with my own weird fantasies. Lindy was cheerful today, possibly because it had been a long time since she woke up wet. I could hear her dancing along the landing, practically skipping each time she went to get herself another cup of sweet tea. I might have advised her to slow down on her fluid intake so close to bedtime; but I already knew it wouldn't really be a problem for her. And I didn't want to bring her mood down when she was so happy, even if I had no idea why. She even knocked politely on the door as she passed each time, offering me a cup as well. I could smile, knowing that all was well between us again, and then turn back to my homework.

Before I knew it, it was time for bed.

I opened my drawer, and looked at the pack of pull-ups. Only three left, and it was my last pack. Before long I wouldn't need to wear them anymore. After that thought crossed my mind, a couple of seconds passed before I realised how silly it was. I had them because I wanted to; regardless of all the drama that had come along the way. I could stop today if I wanted; or I could probably ask Mum for more. I'd told her that they were just really comfortable, and that seemed a good enough reason to me. I didn't have the courage to go buy them where one of my friends might see me, but if anybody saw Mum picking them up they would assume it was for Lindy. I could ask her to take it out of my allowance, and I knew she would be willing to indulge me now. I'd tried them because of Lindy's problem, and found an unorthodox reason to continue. That was nothing to be embarrassed about.

But why would I? They were comfortable, sure. They felt nicer against my skin. But that wasn't worth spending money on. I would keep on wearing them for as long as I could, but I wouldn't go to any great lengths to make it last longer. I certainly wasn't going to make Lindy have another accident; my sister was my friend again now, and I didn't intend to violate her trust this time.

No, I had three left, and I would enjoy it while it lasted. And then I could stop feeling guilty about what I had put her through. Maybe Mum would still talk to me like a kid occasionally, when she felt like it, and that was all I needed. Never knowing when it would happen made it even more embarrassing when it did, and that was what I loved the most. That feeling that I was just the little one, and it wasn't my choice how I was treated.