✅ My Sister's Problem

46. Freedom

The last Patreon bonus chapter for this month, unless someone new signs up. This one is dedicated to Jordan, with more gratitude than I can express for all your support.
This wasn't supposed to be a chapter, just a couple of paragraphs at the start.  But the tale grew in the telling, so the original plan for this chapter will have to wait until tomorrow instead.

I woke up and stretched, smiling before I was fully awake. For a few seconds it seemed weird that I was lying on my back rather than my side, but when I tried to bring my legs together all the memories came flooding back. I was in a diaper, like a little baby. The pressure from my bladder suggested that Lindy hadn't tried her trick with the water bowl again overnight. I guessed she would be focusing more on her own accidents, desperately hoping that she could prove she was a big girl like Mum had said.

This week, Mum was giving both of us a chance to prove that we were the big one. She'd made it clear that she wasn't making assumptions; she acted like she believed Lindy, but just wanted proof so that it didn't seem she was being too cruel to me. So we would both have a week in diapers, but Lindy would get a lot more lenience in being allowed to go without when she wanted to do something with her friends. It was only me who needed punishment, after all. After this week we would both have to wear diapers if either of us had an accident, just so the baby didn't feel isolated from her family, but then it would be me in diapers for as long as it seemed a reasonable punishment. Lindy had been laughing at that prospect, loving the thought that she could persuade Mum to keep on babying me if she wanted me to be embarrassed. But I knew that in reality, my baby time would last until Lindy stopped trying to torment me about it, and then for as long as I wanted it to continue.

With the thick padding between my legs making it a little harder to move normally, I found that I couldn't roll over far enough to reach my phone from the floor. I hadn't expected it to make so much difference. Eventually I gave up, pushed myself to a sitting position, and winced at the pressure from my bladder. I really needed to pee now, but Mum had been very clear that she expected to check our diapers before we got changed in the morning. Should I wake her? When I'd looked at the clock I decided I should probably wait another hour. After she'd put in so much effort cleaning up after me yesterday, and then found a perfect way to adjust Lindy's attitude, I didn't want to disturb her lie in. I picked up my phone instead, to see what the little blue light on the corner indicated today.

The screen was still all kiddy-themed, with big cute icons and text that looked like a baby's scribble. I might have been annoyed by a theme that was so much form-over-function, but it was a nice reminder that adulthood was being snatched out of my grasp. I couldn't use most of the apps that I normally would, and most of the games were blocked just because they had ads for paid upgrades in. But I could still use XV to send messages to my friends. There was a message from Nadine flashing now; I must have missed it because I went to bed early last night.

She wanted to talk. Well, that was understandable. I should have called her yesterday, about what Mum had said to me the evening before. But I'd been too focused on the basketball game, and afterwards I'd been unable to think about anything except being a good baby for Mum. Even if I'd wanted to call, I didn't think Lindy would have let me have a break from merciless teasing.

I sent a message saying I would be at Brunchietta just like we planned, and I could try to be there an hour sooner if she wanted to talk before we hit the shops. But I knew that I would have to check with Mum before I went anywhere; that was still a part of my punishment. All I could do was wait for Mum to wake up, and hope that my words hadn't gotten my best friend into more trouble. But what could I do while I was waiting?

Normally, waking up at this time I would have tried to go back to sleep for another hour, but I was too uncomfortable to sleep now. I couldn't even find a way to sit comfortably on the edge of the bed. I leaned forward a little and reassured myself that Mum would wake up soon, and that I just had to wait a little longer. I tried playing the penguin game, but I couldn't even focus on the screen. It was my own fault really; I'd been too embarrassed to ask if I could use the bathroom again before bed, and then I'd had an early night. It meant my bladder had been filling for a couple of hours longer than usual overnight, and now desperation was pushing all other thoughts out of my mind. I tried pressing my legs together, but even that didn't work now that I was in a thick diaper. I squirmed and struggled, counting down each minute.

Was a little pain reason enough to break my new rules? I could check the sleep tracker, and find that Lindy was still in bed. She wouldn't see me if I snuck to the bathroom; but I would still have to take my diaper off, and the problem with that was that I couldn't put another one on. Mum had left the baby oil and powder on my desk, but she hadn't given me a spare diaper. If I took it off she would know; and I didn't know how lenient she was likely to be. She had to make me uncomfortable, after all, or it wouldn't seem like a punishment.

The next thought was could I call Mum down? She said that she was always available if we needed help with anything, but I didn't want to disturb her. Maybe it was just because it felt wrong on some level for this punishment to be inconvenient for her as well, or maybe it was thinking about how much I hated to be woken early on a day I didn't have anything in my schedule. But I couldn't do that, I couldn't wake her.

My thoughts spiralled back around to sleep. I was still a little tired, but not at all sleepy, and if I could manage to fall asleep, Mum would give me permission to change my diaper when I woke up. It was a perfect solution, or would have been if it were possible. There was no way I would be able to sleep with my tummy feeling like a balloon ready to burst. Maybe I should go and bang on Mum's door after all, but my desperation would make it even harder to get up and walk, and with a diaper that I still hadn't learned to walk in I'd risk losing my balance and landing on the floor. I was sure I wouldn't be able to hold it anymore if that happened, and then I'd be making enough noise to wake up both Mum and Lindy.

I just needed to take my mind off it. I could hold it if I stopped thinking about it. I picked up my phone again, and checked the news. There was a new rumour that Dewayne Morritz was going to do a viral marketing campaign for his next album, adding to speculation that he might actually record something soon. I didn't really like the guy's music, but I knew that there would probably be a huge buzz about it when school resumed after summer. That was if the rumour hadn't been debunked by then, or replaced by something even more vague or outrageous. I tapped the other icons on my phone, trying to find something that might be engaging enough to hold my attention, without requiring me to think too deeply as I squirmed and fought against the growing pressure inside me. For some reason this new childish theme had moved all my apps into new category pages, so finding out what was still there was harder than I might have expected. My legs were bobbing up and down like I was trying to tapdance on the spot, and the vibration made it hard to read the words on my screen, so I wasn't sure what all of the cute icons were for. One thing stood out on the 'recent documents' list, but it was hard to decide what to do with myself when there was only one thing on my mind.

I thought again about breaking the rules and going to the bathroom; about dragging myself to Mum's room and seeing if she was awake yet; and about finding another solution. But none of those options seemed viable. There was one other possibility, that could have been a worse idea than any of the others: I could just stop holding it, and use my diaper like a little baby. That would be so humiliating, and there was no way Mum would believe that it wasn't a part of the 'pleasant' babying after that. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I couldn't possibly hold it another twenty minutes. Better to surrender now, and hope that she wouldn't actually check me today, than wait until I was really in pain.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that it didn't matter. That I was in the bathroom, it was safe to pee, and there was nothing embarrassing about it. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to do something that I'd been conditioned to believe was totally unacceptable for so many years. Even when I was in pain, there was a mental block. Making that choice on my own, without my sister's threats to force me, was too weird. I tried, but I just couldn't do it.

I turned back to my phone, desperate to take my mind off that terrible pressure. I tapped the biggest icon on the screen, and waited a couple of seconds for it to start. And then I heard the melodic ripple of those himes and knew there was an option that would let me have another twenty minutes sleeping before my family woke. I felt the flood of relief, and all my worries about what to tell Mum were postponed until later. My eyes closed, and I couldn't have stopped them if I wanted to.