✅ My Sister's Problem

54. My Shame

This chapter is dedicated to my latest supporter on Patreon, Lonewulf. Everybody thank them for letting you see an extra chapter ☺

I opened my eyes, stretched and yawned. A lazy hand crept under the covers, and confirmed the bulk of the diaper between my legs. It was bulky because it was a baby diaper, one with butterfly print, rather than the SleepSafe ones I'd been more used to. But it was also bulky because it was soaked. I drummed my fingers on the padding while I thought about it. The vibrations felt kind of nice as it shook, and I thought again that I didn't particularly mind this. It was weird waking up wet, and I didn't know that I would ever get used to it, but it made me feel so small when somebody teased me about it, or mocked me.

I would have tried to hide it if I could. But there were rules now. After Mum had told Lindy that she didn't need to wear diapers anymore, and she could make her own choice, my sister had thought of all kinds of rules that would rub in how it was all my fault; rules that would make me regret lying about my accidents. It was absurd, of course, because Lindy knew pretty well that I didn't wet myself unless she did the thing with the bowl of water. But it was too late to prove that to Mum now, and Lindy was enjoying the freedom to choose.

I was a baby, so I needed someone to make adult choices for me. That was the first rule. It was something to let Lindy get her own back for all the times she'd lied to Mum about wetting the bed and Mum hadn't believed her. Now, if I wanted to watch Redux or go out with my friends, I had to ask my sister. She couldn't say no, because that would damage my social life, but she could make me wait a day or two, or put conditions on it. Last weekend, she had told me that if I wanted to watch an adult show, I needed a reminder that I was still a baby. She'd told me that I could only watch it if I wet my diaper first, and asked Mum to change me once the episode was over. Mum had told me it was my choice. I hadn't been able to bring myself to do it, but when I saw messages on my phone from friends and knew they were talking about it already, I'd given in. Mum had put me in one of the thick diapers, and then I'd claimed I needed privacy and gone into my room to listen to a certain short mp3, so that I didn't have to fight against my inhibitions. It had been totally humiliating.

I absolutely couldn't tell Mum, or Lindy, that some part of me had enjoyed that feeling even in such an extreme case.

The second rule was that I was always in diapers. No exceptions. That meant I had to wear more layers when I was playing sports, so I could keep my secret. I'd missed a couple of practice sessions this week, claiming family issues that I needed to stay at home for, and my friends had been kind enough not to ask more details.

I also needed Mum to change me, or Lindy to give me permission to change, and there were no longer diapers stored where I had access to them. If I absolutely needed to change myself, I had to beg my sister to get one out of her desk drawer for me, and she was always on top of her game when it came to calling me names and laughing at me for what a baby I was. She'd even tried taking a photo of me begging once, and the only punishment had been the disappearance of that picture from her gallery and a stern instruction not to do it again. The worst thing was that the times I really needed to change my diaper, either so I could use the bathroom or because I wanted to meet friends and the one I was wearing was too thick, were at times when I had other things to be thinking about. When I didn't really have time to play Lindy's sadistic games, and I couldn't enjoy those weird feelings of helplessness.

The most important rule was that I had to accept my problems. If I woke up wet, I had to tell Mum as soon as possible. Before I could be changed. That kind of applied to Lindy as well; she had to let Mum know whether she was still having accidents, but there was no obligation to report every time. Not that it would make a difference, because she wasn't going to have another accident. I had moved past that now, and I had no intention of hurting my little sister's pride. But until tomorrow evening, while I had to wear diapers full time and keep asking permission for various things, the requirement for honesty was a lot more embarrassing.