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"You didn't even look!" Nadine yelled in frustration as the puck clanged against the goal cage. I spun on the spot, and took a triumphant bow. We'd been planning to meet up today and chat about how we were getting on; it was our last chance to meet until school started again. But she'd suggested we get some practice in while the weather was good, so we were zooming up and down the rink, practising shooting or tackling, playing a freestyle one-on-one game and shouting questions at each other as we passed. Somehow the energy in the air made it easier to talk about things we might otherwise have missed.
"Why look?" I called back. "I know where the goal is. I know where I am. And I know which way is a straight line between them."
"That's what Hugo taught you?" her next question came as she grabbed the puck and started speeding back down to the other end of the rink, desperate to equalise the score. We weren't playing normal rules now, just taking turns to be on offence, so I was racing to catch up and get to my goal ahead of her. "For basketball, I mean."
"Yeah. Different sport, but it still works. He's taught me a lot of things, but..." I couldn't spare the breath to talk as I dived in closer, bringing my stick down in front of hers and taking possession. Turning around before I hit the back barrier was the hard part, and I skidded as I tried to check my speed. Nadine took advantage of that moment of confusion, sweeping the ball to one side so that it ricocheted off the barrier, and they were both scrambling to reach it first.
"But you wish he was your boyfriend, right?" Nadine spoke again a minute later. "He's teaching you all this stuff, but you wish it was more."
"Not more, it's just different. This is something I wanted, you know?"
"Truth or score?" she said, flashing me a smile. And I'd heard of that before, I knew it was a game between a handful of girls on the quads team. Kind of like 'truth or dare' I guessed, which I'd read about in some romance novel when I had nothing better to ease boredom, but never had an excuse to play in the real world.
After she put the puck in the goal again, I asked Nadine what she meant, and she explained. It was a thing to increase motivation in practice. When you take possession of the puck, you can ask a question. If you score, the person who let you past has to answer honestly. No lies, but more importantly, you have to look inside yourself and avoid saying what you want to think, or what you expect the right answer to be. I agreed to that, because I knew this game was my specialty, and I didn't intend to let Nadine past me if I could help it. Would a forfeit really make a difference?
"Would you rather have him be your boyfriend?" she asked, the first time she had the puck.
"Like, instead of a coach? I don't know. Lots of fun, and new friends, and a whole new hobby I'm getting into?" I really wasn't sure. I mean, Hugo was cute, and I loved every minute I spent with him. Even when he was pushing me hard; or especially when he pushed me. Even when it hurt. Was that what love was supposed to feel like, or was it just that we were doing something together that I really enjoyed? And was there a difference? As soon as I tried to think about what my answer would be, I realised I didn't even know.
Clang! The puck slammed into the back of the goal and skipped across the ground. I'd been so caught up in the question, distracted for just a second, that Nadine had gotten past me.
"Okay, that's too tough for you?" she smirked. "Would you be happier if he said he wanted to date you?"
I tried to imagine my response, and it wasn't hard.
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