Deer In Headlights [Minizerk]

Chapter 6

TW mentions of suicide, not graphic

Josh had said 'see you tomorrow', but I didn't. Two days passed before I started to get extremely concerned.

He could've just been ill. I mean, it's not like I had the guy's phone number to contact him and ask. It was perfectly reasonable to assume it was just a virus.

I wish I had been right.

The school held an assembly in the middle of last lesson that day - something that was only done in emergencies.

Ethan and I found out seats near the back, listening as students whispered loudly about what this could possibly be about.

"Okay guys, I really need silence and your full attention. This is serious" Mrs Ponzo - the school counselor - began.

"A couple of days ago a student - who will be kept anonymous of course - has attempted to take their life. Thankfully they will be okay, but they're in 72 hour observation at the moment which is standard practice in this event. They could return to school in potentially a couple of days, but if they need more resting time mentally then that is something of course we will allow"

"We want you all to know that our school is here to support students through hard times. We have extra curriculars, great if you are struggling at home or would like the opportunity to make friends. We have counselling too of course, which you just need to speak to your year guidance manager to set up. You guys aren't alone"

"You're teenagers, life is difficult, this is a stressful time. However we have the tools to help you work through it until things improve, your life isn't something to end based on the here and now, it's something to keep fighting so that you can enjoy it in the long term. Nothing stays like this forever"

All I could think about was the time frame. She'd said a couple of days ago, that was how long Josh had been gone.

Would Josh really do that? I couldn't think of anybody else it might've been, nobody in my classes had been off those two days. Of course there were other students who I didn't know so well, but all signs were pointing towards Josh right now and I was getting scared.

The rest of the assembly went by as I thought over and over, not listening to a word, just thinking.

As soon as we left I pulled Ethan to one side.

"Josh-"

"I know, that's what I thought" he admitted, running his hand through his hair "We don't know for sure though"

"I'm gonna go to the hospital, just check to see if they have a patient with his name. If they don't we'll know he's alright. Come with me?" I asked.

"Of course Si, we'll get the bus" he nodded.

We headed out to the bus stop in silence. I was scared. I'd not been close with the guy for long, but the way we'd gotten close... He meant something to me already.

Once the bus arrived we sat down next to one another, Ethan held my hand for the ride, squeezing it occasionally.

"Thanks Ethan" I mumbled, squeezing back.

What would I even do if Josh was in the hospital? What would I say to him? What if he didn't want me there because we hadn't been close long?

"Si it's our stop" Ethan said softly.

We got off of the bus and made our way into the hospital, heading up to the front desk. I immediately started shaking.

"Can I help?" The lady behind the desk smiled. Wait- nevermind, they had a non-binary badge on. Well now I felt awful for assuming.

"We were wondering if you had a patient named Joshua Bradley?" Ethan asked for me.

"We do, can I check your relationship to him quickly?" They asked. I immediately felt sick.

"We're his closest friends" he told them.

"Normally we don't allow friends in without the families confirmation... But family hasn't been in yet, so I'll approve it okay?" They smiled.

"Thanks so much dude, also really cool eyeliner, it looks super androgynous" he smiled. Ethan really was the best ally.

"Thank you very much" they beamed "Okay, he's in ward C, room 112"

"Thank you, you're the best" he nodded.

Ward C. The psych unit.

We walked in complete silence as we tried to find his room, my mind plaguing me with horrible thoughts the whole way there. I needed him to be okay.

"He's asleep right now, just so you're aware" a nurse quickly told us.

"Is he... Okay?" I asked nervously.

"He's survived, he will recover completely, if that's what you're asking" she said gently.

"How's he been feeling?" I asked, fiddling with my hands.

"Regretful" she told me. That was able to set my mind at ease just a little.