If You're Fine, Then I'm Fine

Chapter Five

Kairos's pov

She kicks off her shoes and throws them onto her bedroom floor. She throws her hoodie onto her clothing rack. She smiles as she grabs a book off her side table and sits comfortably on her bed.

I watch through her window.

Okay that sounds way more creepy when I say it aloud.

Should I do it?

Yes, I have too, Leanna is my friend.

But she looks so peaceful... I can't bother her with my stupid little comment.

Snap out of it Kai, come on. You got this.

Butterflies speed through my stomach as I walk slowly towards her window. I hesitate for a moment before knocking gently on the glass.

Leanna looks towards the door of her room and yells out, "Mamá is that you?"

Dang it.

"No cariño, what are you talking about?" Rosia shouts back with confusion in her tone.

"Oh, okay. Never mind then," She replies, looking around bewildered. Her head spins towards the window where I am, she quickly spots me standing there like a deer in headlights. She gasps in shock, flying back off of her bed.

"Sorry!" I whisper as she hops back up, rubs her head, and stumbles towards the window.

The Sun is coming down. The stars are starting to show. So peaceful compared to the amount of stress that is spinning around me.

Leanna gets to her window and opens it, "Hello Kai, what are you doing?" She asks.

My mind starts to race. My heart is pounding. My hands are shaking.

"I need- I need you out here Leanna... p-please," I stutter, relieved I got any words out at all.

She looks unsure, but still climbs out the window and stands ahead of me. Her eyes watch mine, going left to right, then back again. My words become frozen. My eyes become watery.

"Hey, hey, it's okay! Just breathe for me. Take a second hon," She places her hand on my shoulder and rubs it gently.

I take a deep breath in, and then a deep breath out following the first. "Okay. I think I'm- I think I'm ready to tell you."

Leanna looks me in the eyes, "Go ahead mi amour."

Oh gosh. Mi amour hits me hard like a brick through a freshly placed window.

Tears rush down my face, I pull my sweater sleeves over my hands and rub my eyes, "I- uhm... uh- I can't do it. I'm sorry..." My body feels heavy as it drops to the ground. I cover my eyes and shovel my face into my knees. "Sorry..." I mumble.

"Hey, don't be sorry. You are doing great so far, to me at least," She mutters, flopping to the floor with me. She rubs her hand over my back as I cry the second hardest I have ever cried, first being when I told my parent this very same thing.

"I- I'm n- ahh," I try to speak, but my voice is weak.

Why is this so hard?

I take another deep breath, "I'm not just bi," My insides turn.

How did I say a full sentence?

My eyes peak up from my knees, to see Leanna's shocked face starring ahead. She rubs her forehead and turns to look at me through the gaps of my arms and legs. Her hazel eyes stare into mine, astonished at what I said. She looked proud and surprised, which made my stomach turn. More positively this time.

She smiles, "That is a massive thing. Thank you for telling me. Do you know exactly what you identify as yet?"

"Yeah I do actually... I'm gay," My face lights up as I realised my words made sense again. That sinking feeling that was stabbed into my chest before lightened as I sat up to face my friend.

"Oh my god! Kai that's amazing! Congratulations on figuring that out!" She says, hugging me tightly. We both cry together, excited in different, yet the same, way.

Minutes pass until the silence is broken from her soft voice, "I love you no matter what, always remember that."

I smile and thank her, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Sorry to ruin our moment, but who have you told? I don't want to out you," She questions. My eyes stare at hers. Nobody asks that anymore.

"You aren't ruining it, don't worry. Uhm everyone, I think. I told the group before you came, sorry you weren't there," I reply, a bit disappointed in myself that I didn't invite her.

"Oh no, you are fine! I much preferred this," Leanna explained, smiling at me once again.

I was glad she wasn't mad. I mean, I sort of knew she wouldn't have been, but you never really know.

We smile at each other, holding back our happy tears. It was the best feeling I've ever had. Truly amazing. She also told me something similar too mine. I told her that we were both so brave, and amazing. You'll find out what that is later, it isn't my thing to tell.

It was all sweet and calm until Rosia had to ruin it.

"Leanna! Dante! Dinner is ready!" She yells from the kitchen.

"Coming madre!" Leanna yells back, as a small faint voice of Dante yells the same. "I am so sorry Kai; I have to go. Thank you for talking to me," She beams, smiling at me as she stands up. She pulls me up after her.

"Enjoy your dinner, Leanna!" I giggled.

She laughed and climbed back inside the house, shutting the window behind her. I waved at her as she walked out into the hallway towards the kitchen.

I walked away, back to my house. I opened the door slowly, hoping they weren't there. To my surprise they were, but they weren't mad that I went out without telling them. I looked inside to see my parents at the dinner table placing food onto it. There were decorations, a pride flag hung on the wall, and all sorts of cheesy things. It didn't bother me though, it was really really nice.

"Glad you are back for dinner! We made Melitzanosalata, your favourite, to celebrate you coming out!" My mum says. She smiles at me, and I smile back.

I look over to my dad who is also smiling at me, "We are so proud of you Kairos."

I'm glad I came out. Jeez if I didn't. I couldn't imagine it. I'd be a completely different person. I would just be lying to everyone. And I am really bad at keeping secrets.