If You're Fine, Then I'm Fine

Chapter Eight

Leanna's pov

Me and Carlos walk out to the kitchen together, Dante and Jamie slouching after us. Our parents are flirting. For fucks sake. It's so gross, but I can't control their lives, so I let it go. For now, at least. Carlos tells me not to get involved but it's everywhere so it's really hard not to.

"Okay guys, get your stuff! We are going out to the village! Leo and I put some money together so as our present to Dante, so he can buy whatever he wants! Well until he runs out of money," Rosia beams. Dante's eyes widened with excitement, he looks at Jamie and they both squeal like teenage girls at a boy band concert.

"Glad you are excited boys," Leo laughs, "Okay, we should get going,"

We all agree and head out the door. I told mamá that Carlos and I had to leave at around two so we could plan and start to decorate for the party, and she was fine with it. She said there is enough time for us to go to the market and have lunch together, so she was happy with it. She also loved the idea, so thanks for that Cora.

I grab my tote bag quickly and run out the door with the others. We walk out to the markets. It's busy out here. So many people are around which I hate, but everyone else is having fun so I would feel bad if I didn't try to join in. Carlos knows about my anxiety, and like the brother figure I see him as, he knows how to help. Holding my hand, lots of hugs, taking me away if I need it. He is always there for me. My mum doesn't seem to care. I told her, but she just sees my social anxiety as a lesson, 'Be more out there! Order our food for practice! Stop making a big fuss! Just talk, it isn't that hard!' She doesn't get it, but Carlos does. He understands my panic attacks.

"You okay?" He asks. I smile, in a fake way. "No? Okay. Do you want to step away for a moment or no?"

I shake my head, "No I'm fine for now, I just won't talk to anyone,"

He smiles, in a genuine way, "Okay, well if you're fine, then I am too,"

Just as I thought I was doing fine in the busy crowd, an elderly lady with a basket in her hand walks over in my direction.

Ah shit.

The basket is filled with lollies and treats. They are very cute, yes, but I don't want human interaction. My heart starts to pound aggressively.

"Hey darling, aren't you so pretty! And this is your boyfriend?" She asks me, pointing out Carlos who is talking to his dad a few steps away. He can't see me at the angle he's on so I can't signal him to help.

My breathing steadies as I try to talk, "Oh, uh, no, he isn't, and thank you for the complement, uh, yeah," I stutter.

Fuck. I can't speak.

"Oh okay, well here, take a gift my dear. In honour of our gift-giving god," She hands me a wrapped sweet and places it gently in my hand. I thank her for her gift as she walks away to another group.

Oh my god. I did it, and without help. Woo! I did stutter the whole time, but I didn't have a full-on panic attack and curl into a ball on the floor, so that is a point in my book. I breath in, and out gently. Good job me. I walk over to my group. Dante is holding lots of chocolates and lollies in his little bag. There is a book inside the bag too. Another one of those French books he likes.

"Oui, merci!" He thanks the shop keeper.

It is a small elderly man, Monsieur Sucré. He is one of the only French-speaking people in the village. My brother promised him to keep the language going through his own generations, which is the sweetest thing he ever said to anyone if I'm honest. That poor old man's wife had died, and their kids met other language speaking people and haven't used French in years. We all felt bad for him.