Lost and Found - Bucky Barnes x OC

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It had been nearly a month since Bucky had broken up with Frankie.

It was her day off. Once a gleeful escape from work and an excuse to do something fun with Bucky, it was now just a series of hours to fill. She had told Dan she'd work it, but he insisted she take it off as she needed a break. She had been putting in long hours at the garage to keep herself distracted, Dan and Freddie understood this was how she dealt with things but were concerned she was going to burnout at that level. They and the team had all been very supportive and there for her, but she was determined to stay strong in front of them. Aside from a few tears in her office and occasionally hiding under an engine, she had mostly kept it together at work and kept all her wallowing at home.

She'd wrapped herself in a blanket and was watching some crappy movie on Netflix while grazing junk food. Not really watching though, she couldn't tell you a single plot point if you asked. She looked at her phone, no notifications. Bucky hadn't been in touch and neither had she. Normally she wasn't one to back down without a fight, and part of her did wonder if she should've fought harder to resist at the time – battle for their cause. But he seemed so resolute, his mind was made up, and he was just as stubborn as she was. Besides, she had told him she loved him and that didn't help. So what else could she have said? She could at least maintain the tiniest bit of dignity and not embarrass herself by begging him to stay.

She was hurt. Her heart was broken. She had allowed herself to open up, be vulnerable and this is what happened. Never again. In future if she got lonely she would just have casual sex, or find a friend with benefits, a warm body to share a bed with but no more than that. She couldn't go through this again.

She was also still furious at him. She understood why he was scared and wanted to protect her, but how dare he act like he knew what was best for her? It was meant to be her choice, not his. She knew who he was. She knew where he'd been and what he'd done. Yes, it was a bit scary. Yes, she did feel a bit cautious. But that was part of him, who he was once – it's not who he is. He's not solely defined by the past. It wasn't like dating a 'normal' person. But it was all worth it for him. She loved him. If something bad did happen then they would ride out the storm together. But she wasn't allowed the opportunity to do so. Loving someone means loving all of them, even the messy parts.

She curled up in the blanket and briefly closed her eyes. She thought of Bucky's smile. Of his striking eyes. Of the feeling of waking up in his arms. She flicked them open again. No. Don't torture yourself anymore, she told herself. The fact is, he doesn't love you. He never loved you. He doesn't want you. It has always been this way.

She realised she couldn't sit around like this all day. It stops now. She must move on, put him behind her.

There's only one person who could help.

She got to her feet, grabbed her handbag and stepped back out into the world.

**

Bucky sat in his apartment, staring at Frankie's name in his phone contacts. His finger hovered over the call button and moved away again. He put the phone down.

It's not like she'd want to hear from him anyway. Not after what he'd done, not after she'd told him she loved him and he left her standing there with tears rolling down her face.

He had daydreams where he was back at that moment - but instead of leaving he told her he loved her too, and picked her up and kissed her, and everything was alright again. She would tell him he was an arrogant asshole and then forgive him, listing all the ways he had to make it up to her.

Instead, they were apart. But at least she was safe. Safe from him, safe from his enemies, safe from his baggage. She might hate him but the important thing was that she was unscathed.

Dr. Ward was shocked that he'd ended things. She told him she'd noticed positive changes in him since he'd started dating Frankie, and he had seemed lighter in himself than before.

'It's your choice James, of course' she had said. 'And I understand your reasons. But it does sound like you're self-sabotaging your own happiness under the guise of doing it for someone else's benefit'.

He had scoffed at that. Why wouldn't he want to be happy? That's all he'd ever wanted.

He was flying out to Louisiana that evening to see Sam and the Wilson clan. That would make him feel better. Good to get out of Brooklyn and out of his head for a while. He was even considering a permanent move, as he didn't have much left in New York to stay around for anymore.

He began to pack his bag, before stopping suddenly. He then took a moment to pick up his phone, he scrolled back to Frankie's name in the contacts list. This time he deleted the entry completely, as well as clearing her texts and her number from the call log. It would be better this way, no temptations.

He continued packing, hoping for a new start.