Isobel Asks The Internet

XVII - The Chance Encounter

A newspaper society meeting I attended was violently interrupted! How can I prevent this from happening again?

Hey everyone!

So, ever since me and Katie took over the newspaper society, everything has been going SO well. Before us, the society had been hampered by the previous editor, Winona, and her refusal to carry out basic journalistic practices, such as hiring private investigators to keep tabs on university students' personal lives. Thankfully, through increased readership and lucrative corporate sponsorship, the society is able to publish cutting edge exposés that the university deserves.  

Aside from the usual weekly meetings for the whole of the society, we've been holding smaller ones every week for the leadership committee too. This included Katie as the president, and me as the vice president. Renata, our treasurer, also attended with Xena as our head of photography. Lastly, Nigella (who is SO kind and sweet, but also really dangerous and aggressive) had joined the society and we had promoted her to the head of research. She turned out to be AMAZING at extracting information from unwilling participants; she wouldn't tell us her technique, but we assumed that it was her charismatic and personable nature. We alternated the location for our meetings between our friend Mallory's restaurant and Katie's parents' Cantonese buffet; this time we were at the latter.

Our technique at the buffet was to get lots of plates and put a different dish on each of them, so we could all share. We'd all get our own empty plate with some rice, and a bowl of soup which corresponded to our individual preferences. Katie's parents always made sure that we got a table with a lazy susan; if there were none available then they would just kick a group out in order to give one to us as they understood the importance of journalism. The five of us sat down and begun to discuss an ongoing story we were working on; Nigella had coerced a student into admitting that their friend had accidentally shot an elephant in Thailand, and we were trying to figure out the best visual accompaniments we could use for the story.

While we were talking, I noticed Renata's face drain of colour; she looked like CHALK. I assumed that she wasn't feeling well so I said to her "ooh Renata hun, you're looking a bit under the weather, make sure you have some beef" while passing her the plate of beef ho fun. She took the plate, but then pointed towards the entrance and said "look who just walked in". Katie, who was sat facing the entrance, breathed "omfg no", and it was clear from her tone that a threat had emerged. I turned my body to face the entrance, as if it were a lazy susan, to see Winona, the old president of the society who Katie had dethroned, walk into the restaurant.

I was SHOCKED beyond belief to see her here. Katie's parents are very influential in town (her mum is on the town council with me) and Winona would have known who their daughter was. Her presence here was a disgrace. She had also brought a couple of other people who had left the society after she was voted out, Veronique and Barbie, so she had backup in the likely possibility that the situation would escalate. 

Winona looked up from her table and caught us all gazing in her direction, and her expression suddenly soured like milk on a humid summer day. She kicked her chair back, approached us and screamed "what the FUCK do you think you're doing here?" Katie then got to her feet, as she knew that she was the one that Winona was the most angry at, and calmly told her that this was her parent's restaurant, and the newspaper society were more than welcome to hold their meetings here.

Winona then turned on Renata and was all like "how dare you jump ship and betray me like this", but Renata was ready and snarled back at her: "jump ship? This society has gone from a sad piece of driftwood to a luxury yacht, and it's because you're GONE". Winona's jaw hit the floor in astonishment; Renata used to be SO shy, but Nigella had taken her under her wing and shown her the ropes of violence and intimidation. Winona said that her sister will be joining her, any minute now, and that she'd see what we had to say then. As if on cue, someone walked through the door right at that moment.

It was ANGELICA.

As soon as she stepped into the restaurant, the penny dropped and I knew EXACTLY what had happened over the past few weeks. Winona had been outraged that the newspaper society had catapulted her from her pedestal, so she had enlisted Angelica (her sister) to get revenge on me. As Angelica worked in head office, she knew that tampering with the supermarket was the most effective way to mess with me, so she had installed a complaints desk and made me keep the loathsome Vix in our employment. Although I had managed to subvert the bulk of her terrible ideas, I was still mortally offended by her interference.

She sauntered DISGUSTINGLY over to us, looked at me, smirked and said "alright Isobel? Had any complaints recently?". I was not about to take this kind of abuse, so I stood up to address her.

"None, actually.... Ambrosia, was it?" I hissed, purposely getting her name wrong. She ignored this.

"Who've you got on the desk?" she asked. I knew that this was a deadly trap, ready to ensnare me.

"...Britney", I said. "Britney is on the desk".

"Britney? Isn't she..." Angelica begun.

"... 82, yes, but she's very productive so I will not hear one word against her!" Angelica gasped at my vicious words, grabbed her gin and tonic and THREW it at my face. I have chaired numerous seminars on agility and movement, so I was able to deflect her attack with ease. However, this meant that it hit Nigella in the shoulder! This ignited the ocean of petrol that was Nigella's rage, and she grabbed a plate of red-braised pork and pelted it at Angelica. It hit her squarely in the chest, and was sure to stain the white velvet dress that she was wearing.

From here, chaos ensued. Veronique grabbed Renata and had her in a headlock, but Xena grabbed a mysterious circular decoration from the walls and threw it like a frisbee; it slammed into Veronique's face and she let go of Renata, but then Barbie CHARGED at Xena, however Nigella rugby tackled her and they both landed on top of a nearby lazy susan and started spinning SO fast. Angelica was focusing on attacking me with cutlery, whereas Winona had grabbed a chair and was chasing Katie around the restaurant with it. Suddenly we heard someone scream:

"What the FUCK is going on in here?". We all turned and saw Katie's mum come out of the kitchen holding a (new) meat tenderiser. Winona tried to quickly put down the chair she was chasing Katie with, but it was too late; Katie's mum had seen her and ran towards her brandishing the tenderiser. Winona SCREAMED and tried to jump out of the window, but she was wearing heels so she stumbled on the frame. It wasn't very far down but she twisted her ankle while lowering herself down and was sprawled on the ground. Katie's mum then grabbed the vat of hot and sour soup and poured it out of the window on to Winona! (omfg)

Angelica was looking SO scared now, and Veronique and Barbie were trying to quietly leave but Katie's dad blocked the door so no one would be able to get out without facing reprisals. Katie's mum started screaming so loud about how rude it was for people to enter her establishment and start attacking her daughter and her friends. She banned Winona, Angelica, Veronique and Barbie from the restaurant, and said that if she ever saw them ANYWHERE again then she would turn them into roadkill.

Everyone left, and we got to continue the meeting. Weirdly, the restaurant was empty for the rest of the night so it was like having our own private office space, with catering! We finalised the details for the story about the murdered elephant, and then we decided to go home for the night. Before we left, I asked Katie's mum to email me the CCTV footage from that evening.

The next day, I edited the CCTV footage so it showed only Angelica throwing cutlery at me and doing other aggressive things. I emailed this to head office and cc'd the ENTIRE company. Because of this, Angelica was fired (without notice) and I could do whatever I wanted in the store! I thought about removing the complaints desk, but Britney is actually having a lovely time working on it, and I didn't want to take that away from her. I did, however, cut Vix's salary by 25%, and gave the extra money to Sandy (the manager of the fashion department, who everyone loves). It seemed like the trouble was over... for now. 

Did I handle this situation well? Do you think Winona and Angelica will strike again? What should we do if they team up with Brindie, Debra and Marlene?