Isobel Asks The Internet

XXV - The Fashion Line

I destroyed my company's seasonal fashion line and replaced it with my own! Was I right to do this?

Hey everyone!

So, the other day, I was sitting in my office, putting the finishing touches on an article I'd written for the university newspaper entitled "Ten AMAZING Zero-Waste Ideas To Use Up Leftover Grout" when I heard a mid-pitched knock against my door. I pressed one of my melon-green nails to the intercom and told whoever it was to come in. The door opened, and Marceline (the deputy manager of the supermarket) walked in wearing a professional strapless dress with clouds on it, and fuchsia suede thigh boots with a faux-fur trim. She looked disgruntled, so I retracted the position of my ergonomic office chair back a few inches to accommodate her sizeable quandaries.

I asked her what was wrong, and she told me that the Autumnwear range had just been delivered into the warehouse. I shouted "ugh" so loud, because we had been sent the catalogue for the range a month ago, and it was so dumb. The supermarket had decided to make (almost) EVERYTHING pumpkin-spice themed, despite the fact that I had suggested that we launch a forward-thinking foray into an edgy smoky brûlée colour scheme. There's also one signature piece which is always kept as a surprise until the range is delivered. I would have lodged a campaign of opposition against this, but Nigella and I have been SO busy preparing for the soft-launch of our salad-bar concept (as well as everything else that's been happening). Besides, according to a recent survey that I issued, 99.5% of customers have disgusting taste anyway.

Marceline and I went down to the warehouse and Sandy (the fashion manager who is so good at her job) was standing next to some crates with Glynis and Elżbieta who also work on the clothes department. I grabbed a crowbar from the equipment rack to prize open one of the boxes, and was DISGUSTED at what I found inside. The designs were so much worse than they had been in the catalogue; all of the clothes looked something an out-of-work clown would wear to a 7am job centre appointment, and that was not the kind of vibe I was trying to curate. 

The situation grew bleaker still when I had the opportunity to gaze upon the signature piece for the collection. It was a beige sundress with a maple leaf pattern, which had a cheap looking emblem ironed onto it that said "pumpQUEEN spice latte" underneath a picture of a cup of coffee wearing a bronze tiara. I knew that if I were to publicly associate myself with this hideous dress then my excellent reputation in town would be INCINERATED (which would be a victory for Brindie) so I needed to come up with a contingency plan. While I gave myself a moment to conceptualise an emergency response to this existential crisis, I asked Glynis and Elżbieta to put the boxes of clothes in the walk-in freezer so they would out of my plane of vision.

One thing was clear, and that was that we would need to IMMEDIATELY procure more clothes that we could market as the Autumnwear range. After the offending garments had been placed into cold storage, I gave both Glynis and Elżbieta company credit cards and told them to go to a local clothing wholesaler to pick a bunch of new clothes that we could market as part of our range (I also said that they could buy themselves lunch too). I would then ask the girls who work the night shift on the clothing department to cut up the garments and to distress and stain the fabric to give the pieces a unique touch; as a member of the Gen-Z, I knew this is what would appeal to the right audience. 

I wasn't working the next day, but I called a photography team to do a photoshoot and I gave them the names of some of the employees that they could use as models. I also told them that the prints HAD to be ready by tomorrow. They asked me what kind of theme I wanted for the shoot, and since I wanted the collection to be daring and edgy, I gave them a moodboard which had the words "slag", "bitch", "slut", "punk", "whore", "skateboarding" and "danger" on it. I was confident this would accurately reflect my creative vision.

When I came in the next day, I saw that the ladies of the night shift had done an amazing job with the clothes; everything looked so individual and expensive, even though we paid barely anything for them. However, when I unpacked the visuals for the marketing, I realised that the creative team had BUTCHERED my creative vision!  When I had given them my moodboard, they thought I meant that I wanted the pictures to be taken at an actual slag heap, so they themed the photoshoot around the local coal mining industry. To be honest, the pictures themselves were quite nice, however my sustainability consultant was going to be PISSED. What's more, they had picked Mylene (who was the bakery manager, but is now a restroom assistant) to be the head model, which was a fatal error. 

There was nothing I could do about the pictures, so I asked Sandy to get her team to display them nearby to the clothes. As I walked back to my office, my heels stepped in a MASSIVE puddle of water, and when I investigated the source of this leak, I saw that Vix was standing next to a palette full of melting ice cream. I was furious, and asked her to explain herself immediately. She told me that there was no room in the freezer and she couldn't fit all of the inventory inside.  I was disgusted to hear her attempt to make excuses for creating a treacherous breach of health and safety regulations, so I put her on disciplinary probation (without pay).

When I finally made it to my office, I could see the face of Verona (the area manager who took over after Angelica tried to sabotage my supermarket and attack me) on my computer screen; I was being video conferenced. I answered the call and Verona immediately told me that head office had caught wind of my plans, and the head of fashion were on their way to the store as well as the deputy head (omfg). Verona went on to tell me that the head of fashion HATED the Autumnwear range but when the designs were finalised she was on bereavement leave because her mum fell out of a waterslide and it was too late for her to make any changes! I knew that I could potentially use this to my advantage. I asked Verona when they were expected to get here, and she told me; it was in ten minutes!

I instantly disconnected the call, and ran out of my office towards the entrance of the store. I made sure to bring Sandy and Nigella with me, as they are quite intimidating and would hopefully deter the visitors from head office from making any rude comments. I saw them walk through the automatic doors, and I was THUNDERSTRUCK in disbelief when I saw who the deputy head of fashion was... 

...it was GINGER!

Nigella had attacked Ginger at the cooking class she was teaching as a side-hustle not too long ago! To be honest, I had hoped that Ginger would have forgotten about this, but I stood in front of Nigella just in case. The other woman with her was wearing a long yellow dress and heels; she introduced herself as Courtney, and I assumed that she was the head of fashion.

Anyway, so we sauntered over to the clothes department where my custom line had been proudly displayed; Courtney looked impressed but Ginger's expression was looking quite spicy as I showed them around. At the end of the tour, we got to the signature piece that we had put together. It was kind of like a fitted khaki-green bin bag, with a studded belt around the waist. It also had a trenchcoat sewn into it, as well as fabric patches that were actually advertisements for the supermarket! It was exquisite, so I was distressed to hear Ginger SCREAM unprofessionally about insubordination, and accuse me of corporate espionage. She asked us what we had done with the original line of clothes, and I told her that they were in the freezer and she kept screaming.

At that moment, Courtney got really close to Ginger's face and told her to shut the FUCK up. She then turned around, and told me that she loved the signature dress and wanted to try it on! I said "of course!" and she went to the changing rooms. Meanwhile, Ginger was so furious, so I told her that if she wanted to express her dissatisfaction then she would have to speak to Britney (who I had recently promoted to Complaints MANAGER). I told Nigella to escort her there and Ginger suddenly got really pale and quiet like she was gonna faint. Anyway, Courtney came out of the changing rooms and looked stunning (because of the dress). I took loads of photos of her too so they could put in the company newsletter.

As Courtney was leaving she made it clear that my actions were the correct thing to do and that EVERYONE involved in producing the Autumnwear line would be under investigation for making something so disgusting. I was relieved that someone was standing up for what is right! Ginger looked like she was going to blow a fuse, but was way too scared of Nigella to say anything. I thought "whatever" because she was probably going to lose her job anyway. 

Did I do the right thing? Could I have improved anything at all?