Isobel Asks The Internet

XXX - The Defamation Hearing

One of my enemies tried to sue me for defamation and something completely unexpected happened! What should I do next?

Hey everyone!

So, earlier I was at a defamation hearing filed against the university newspaper society by its jealous ex-president Winona. Winona had forged an infernal league with Dr. Sivam who been undertaking an inappropriate relationship with Mavis up until her fatal accident. They were both PISSED at the newspaper society after we had published an exposé which justifiably questioned whether Dr. Sivam had a role in Mavis's death, and literally everyone in town had read it.

I knew that I had to look professional for this hearing as I had decided to represent myself (a lawyer just wouldn't be able to grasp the complexities of this situation) so I had purchased a briefcase. I didn't actually have anything related to the case that I needed to take, so I FILLED it with documents about the upcoming launch of the salad-bar concept that Nigella and I would soon be premiering; I still had to read these, and I thought the less interesting parts of the hearing would provide me with ample opportunity.

I walked into the courtroom with the other important members of the newspaper society; Katie (the president), Renata, Xena and Nigella. I also made sure that Heini, Mallory, Marlene and Zelda-Mae were in the public galleries to provide us with crucial moral support. Katie's parents had also come and they were (confusingly) with Rhonda's ex-mum Clementine. Thankfully the composition of the public gallery indicated that Brindie had decided not to make an appearance.

Soon afterwards, Winona walked in flanked by her minions, Barbie and Veronique (who all used to be in the newspaper society before Winona was dethroned). Winona's dress was yellowish green which EVERYONE knew was symbolic of decay, and the brown blazer she had slung over it did little to improve the situation; I was certain that her swampy appearance would villainise her in the eyes of the jury. Regardless of this, I knew that our case was watertight and that everyone would see that Winona was disgustingly trying to suppress the truth about what had happened to Mavis.

Not long after everyone was seated, evidence began to be heard. First up was Winona, and she wheeled a TV with an attached VCR player to the front of the courtoom. As she inserted a video into the respective cavity, I braced myself with the fear that we were about to bear witness to some form of DEPRAVED home video project, however the image on the screen was of a lecture theatre. As figures began to mill around, I identified myself at the back of the theatre wearing my casual lilac gown and heels and realised Winona had chosen to show the courtroom footage of my fall down the stairs! I was confused as to why she was doing this, but I watched intently to see how the events unfolded. Sure enough, I tripped and tumbled to the bottom.

Winona chose this moment to pause, turn to me, and squawk "so, Isobel... that looked like a nasty fall. Could you let the court know what happened next?" I knew that Winona was trying to catch me in a lie, but I refused to be hoodwinked by her foul snares. I told the members of the courtroom that I had been helped up by Dr. Sivam. I paused artfully, and could see Winona advancing like a tarantula about to consume it's mate, so I chose this moment to interject and say "...and he made a comment about my breasts", thus consigning her trump card to the swamplands of redundancy.

I had taken Winona's secret weapon into my own capable hands, however I could tell that this was not all she had equipped herself with. Regaining her composure, she summoned her first witness to the stand; it was the ineffectual Mary from Student Services who had rebuffed my ceaseless attempts to defend the women of the university from Dr. Sivam, and whose negligence had necessitated the publication that had drawn us all into this sterile courtroom. I wondered what form of DISSERVICE she was about to corrupt the hands of justice with.