Isobel Asks The Internet

XXXV - The Invisible String

I launched an investigation into my enemies' past and found out some shocking revelations! What should I do about this? 

Hey everyone! 

So, the other day, I was sitting in my office at the supermarket, arranging for the presence of an international convoy of reporters for the upcoming soft-launch of mine and Nigella's salad bar concept, when I heard Mallory's distinctive knock (two taps, a SLAM, then another tap) assault my door. I was surprised, but not shocked, that she had come to the supermarket; although I had given the members of my inner circle a key to gain access to the staff only areas of the premises, I was somewhat puzzled as to what could have brought her here. My (already honed) instincts sharpened, primed for the declaration of a grave emergency. 

Mallory was wearing double denim, a very large sunhat, and chunky sunglasses; she looked incredibly stylish, and I invited her into my quarters. In order to gain entry, she had to turn sideways due to the width of the sunhat. Once she lifted her shades, however, her expression communicated to me that this fashionable visage was concealing an inner turmoil. I invited her to sit down, and asked if she would care for some (high quality) matcha. She said yes, and I spent the next five minutes brewing her refreshments. We then initiated dialogue. 

Mallory's presence proved to be a harbinger of DOOM indeed. 

Once she had taken a sip of her (expertly prepared) matcha beverage, Mallory reached into her farmers' market tote bag and extracted a video tape. For a moment, I thought that she was going to show me one of her experimental forays into at-home cinematography but, to my relief, CCTV footage of her restaurant flashed on to the screen; it was a little grainy, but my excellent vision could make out the diners. My relief evaporated when she guided my vision towards a table in particular, and I could see that it was being inhabited by none other than RHONDA. 

I froze in fear of this deadly apparition, but then I thought to check the date of the recording. This footage had been captured three weeks before Brindie's pool party, meaning that the vision of Rhonda before me was not a ghost, rather a glimpse into her former life. I turned to Mallory questioningly, but she told me to carry on watching. After a few moments, I saw another woman approach her table, and then sit down on the opposite chair which I thought seemed SO suspicious. I extended my neck closer to the screen to properly make out this mysterious figure, and my blood turned to liquid nitrogen when her identity clicked into place...

...it was ZELDA-MAE!

I turned, once again, to Mallory and shouted "what the FUCK" in disbelief. I felt as if the truth as I knew it had shattered into one thousand tiny pieces, and that my soul was being sliced up by the shards falling around me, like dangerous rain. The intelligence we had gleaned from excavating Rhonda's ex-garden had confirmed to us that she had been hired by Brindie to torment us after the events of the pool party, yet here she was, weeks beforehand, publicly cavorting with one of Brindie's co-conspirators! We needed to investigate this further. 

I began to put a plan together in my head to gather more information about this infernal collaboration. Luckily, we knew Rhonda's former mum Clementine, and would be able to ask her if she knew anything about Zelda-Mae. However, this quickly hit a snag as I realised that we didn't know where the residence of Clementine was based, nor did we have her contact details! My spirit began to deflate like an improperly whipped cream that has been left out in the sun, but then I remembered that we'd had dealings with her tenants Brendan and Opal-Moira; they would be able to tell us where we could find her. 

I hopped into my car with Mallory and we drove to the residence in question. We decided to bring along Heini, Katie and Nigella too in case we needed back up. As soon as we got there, we disembarked my vehicle and issued a polite, yet rude knock upon the door. Soon enough, Opal-Moira jangled open the door and, upon seeing us, her jaw fell open so hard that it basically SLAMMED (quite rudely, if you ask me) on to her vampire-themed "live laugh BLOOD" doormat. She then attempted to regain her sloppy composure and said "hello ladies" while resting her triplets-laden body on to her unkempt and inconsistently varnished door frame. I was about to proceed into my formal request for her, before I heard Brendan shout from within the house, asking who was at the door. Opal-Moira screamed back that it was "the ladies who dug up our garden a while back".