Slowly fading (Peterick & Trohley)

Chapter 7

Patricks POV:

I drove and drove. My vision blurred because of the tears that wouldn't stop coming. A song blasting through the speakers, the bass sending vibrations throughout my body, the lyrics speaking to me, slowly losing myself in the music.

It was starting to get dark. Really dark. I needed some place to sleep but I was in the middle of nowhere. I pulled up at a parking area at the side of the highway. There were some trucks that were taking a break there so I felt somewhat safe.

I got out of my car to stretch my legs and I got into the backseat. I opened my suitcase and got out a blanket. I layed down and covered myself up. I closed my eyes but sleep wasn't coming soon.

After 2 hours lying awake and feeling like shit I sat up. I pulled up my knees to my chest and I started sobbing. My throat started to hurt because of the excesive crying. I felt so weak. If someone saw me know they would probably laugh.

I grabbed my little blue box and was contemplating if I should. I couldn't care any less to be honest. I wouldn't be here much longer. I just needed a release. I grabbed a blade and rolled up my sleeves. Little shocked by what I had already done to my arms. Scars and healing cuts covering them. There almost wasnt a normal untouched piece of skin left. I pressed the thin cold piece of metal to my arm and pressed hard. The first droplets of blood already forming. Before I knew it fresh cuts were littering both my arms and blood was flowing freely. I started to get a bit dizzy, probably because of the bloodloss and not eating. Oh well. I cleaned my arms and felt more relaxed. I layed back down and closed my eyes. My arms were hurting but it was exactly what I needed. Eventually I fell asleep.

PS. This is the song I pictured Patrick listening to when driving the car. ( I love this song so much)

https://soundcloud.com/re_collections/reality-check