While the Sun Shines

33.

The apartment was both too far away and too close. 

A fifteen minute walk home could never be enough to make Nick gain control of his blushing face or his heart rate. Then again, he supposed a five hour walk wouldn't be enough either if Blake kept shooting him smiles and promising looks all the way there. At least Blake had a little bit of mercy and didn't insist they use the elevator because they had groceries with them. Nick's head might've exploded if Blake continued smiling at him while they shared the tiny space.

Blake's mercy ended the moment they'd reached their apartment, however. Immediately after Blake had closed the door behind him, he unceremoniously dropped his grocery bags on the floor and kissed Nick. Nick tensed in surprise, but let Blake kiss him. It took a second, but then let his eyes fall shut and returned the kiss. 

Nick hadn't expected Blake to make good on his promise right away, and certainly not for him to throw his arms around Nick and kiss him even more deeply than that morning. They went from zero to one-hundred and Nick's heart beat wildly as Blake's hands started to wander down his back, slipping beneath the edge of his shirt teasingly. Blake's lips moved to Nick's jaw again. His breathing grew heavier, and that was when the anxiousness set in. 

Did Blake expect them to do... more than kiss? 

It wouldn't be strange. They were both adults. They were alone in the apartment. They had established they liked each other enough to make out, why wouldn't they? Nick stood frozen in place while Blake's fingers travelled down his arm to his hand. Nick hadn't even realised he, contrary to Blake, still had an iron grip on the grocery bags he had been carrying, until Blake's fingers brushed against his fingers. Blake promptly stopped kissing Nick's neck and glanced down at his hand, visibly surprised at how tightly Nick's fist was curled around the plastic handle. 

Then he laughed. "You're very tense."

"Uh, yeah," was all Nick could reply, unable to come up with any sort of explanation or witty reply while his heart was pounding out his chest. It wasn't like he could speak the truth either and tell Blake the thought of them moving to the bedroom had freaked him out. Who would take that kind of news well? 

Blake let go of Nick's hand and took a small step back, a smile lingering on his lips as he observed him. "I'm hungry. Let's go make the pizza dough." Blake picked up the grocery bags and started walked to the living room.

"Uh, yeah," Nick mumbled. 

He followed Blake to the kitchen, grateful Blake was actually interested in making the pizza dough and wanted to get to work. Or, he was just offering Nick an 'out' from the awkward moment in the hallway. Either way, Nick was grateful. He read out the recipe from his phone and they each started working on creating their own lump of pizza dough. 

Usually cooking was something that calmed Nick down, but calming down was impossible today. Not when Nick's brain was filled with Blake's possible expectations and whether he'd even be into sex with a guy. He wasn't turned off when thinking about it, but guessed he wouldn't know if he liked it until he and Blake actually got in bed together. And if they did, shouldn't he tell Sem about it at some point? Not about the sex, obviously. But if Nick were in Sem's situation, he'd like to know if two close friends were about to get together. Then again, they were just 'seeing where it goes' so maybe there wouldn't be anything to tell. 

Suddenly, Blake burst out laughing next to Nick. He stopped kneading and took a step away from the counter. 

Nick glanced at Blake. "What?" he asked. 

Blake snickered and pointed at his lump of dough. "It looks like an ass." 

Nick turned his attention to the dough creation Blake had made and left on the counter. Blake had pushed the two ends together, creating a crease in the middle and a round shape. Nick had to agree it kind of looked like a butt. With some imagination "Uh, yeah, I guess it kinda looks like a butt," he said, feeling blood rush to his cheeks. 

A sly smile appeared on Blake's face as he stepped closer to the counter again. He slowly reached for the crease in his dough and, without breaking eye-contact with Nick, pressed his index finger into the crease. 

Nick's eyes automatically darted to Blake's finger in the dough and his face grew even hotter. He quickly averted his gaze and looked at his own, more decent, lump of dough. "I think we're done. Uh, we should make it rest for an hour so it can rise," he stammered. 

Blake laughed. "Huh. Usually rising works faster when I'm around," he kept joking. He wore a wide grin when Nick peeked at his face—it seemed he thoroughly enjoyed the way Nick got flustered. 

"Uh, yeah," Nick stuttered. "We should leave the bu—dough alone for an hour. Let's watch a show or something while we wait?" 

"Sure, sounds good."

Blake wiped his hands on a towel walked to the living room. After covering up the dough with another towel, Nick followed Blake, and he immediately realised his mistake. Since he would be the second to arrive at the couch, he would decide how far apart he and Blake would be sitting. Too close and too far would both be awkward at this stage. Hell, anything was awkward at this stage.

Thankfully, Blake had mercy again and chose the spot smack in the middle of the couch. No matter where Nick sat, they would be sitting relatively close together. Breathing in and out deeply, Nick lowered himself on the right side. Blake watched him sit, and smiled when Nick looked at him. Nick returned his smile, hoping fiercely that the nerves and mad butterflies in his stomach didn't make it look like an awkward grimace. Blake had already seen him be awkward enough already today. It had to stop at some point.

 Blake grabbed the remote and pushed it into Nick's hands. "I don't care what we watch, but pick something short, okay?" he said. "I don't have time to get deeply invested today—I have formulas to memorise. Big exam tomorrow." 

"Of course," Nick said, switching the television on. 

The notion that Blake had opted for a Chemistry major was still strange to Nick. It wasn't like he couldn't imagine Blake in a lab coat or thought he wasn't smart enough. It was more that Blake seemed too outgoing and bold to be happy stuck in a lab all day. 

"How did you find yourself being into chemistry, anyway?" Nick found himself asking. 

Blake seemed to enjoy the question. He perked up, and his eyes sparkled. Not in a flirty way, but... in a happy way that somehow made Nick's stomach backflip even harder. 

"Okay, so, when I was little I was already a huge science nerd," Blake said. "And whenever my parents left anything in the kitchen unattended—spices, liquids, or other things—I'd sneak in and try to make 'potions' out of them. I'd imagine I'd drink them and gain superpowers or invisibility like on television. Then I got a little older and smarter and realised that, while I can't make invisibility potions, there were chemical reactions that can do other pretty miraculous things. Like, turn sunlight into energy, cure diseases, or make pretty crystals. All those things. And now I just think it's really cool to learn the uses and intricacies of chemical reactions and molecules." 

A smile had spread on Nick's face while Blake talked enthusiastically about his reasons to pick chemistry, but it fell when Blake tilted his head to the side and countered his question. "What about you then? How did you end in... International Business, was it?" 

Blake looked at Nick expectantly, but his answer would be super boring. Nick cleared his throat. "I was good at economics in high school, so it seemed like a logical choice," he lamely replied.

That, and since the real plans Nick had had with his life didn't work out, he had to do something. Nick didn't say that out loud. Instead, he looked at the television and selected the first suggestion that didn't look completely awful; a series called Arcane which he'd had on his watch list for a while but still hadn't seen yet. 

"This okay?" he asked. 

He felt Blake staring at him for a while longer, but eventually, Blake sighed and also turned to the television. "Yep, Arcane's fine."