While the Sun Shines

32.

Despite what Blake had said, there was actually a lot of focusing going on in the university library. Unfortunately, it was focusing on all the wrong things. 

Nick started his school day with replaying his kiss with Blake and everything leading up to that kiss in his head over and over. He cringed at the way he'd stammered and hesitated while, in hindsight, it was pretty damn obvious Blake had wanted to make out. Shivers went down his spine when thinking of Blake's lips, hands, and that sparkle always in his eye. And... he worried when thought about what he'd done to the relative 'peace' he and Blake had established. Now, and when they went home again. 

Despite knowing it would ruin his good mood, Nick found his thoughts drifting to the football team and what they would say if they knew about him and Blake. Sem got the boot from the friend group after kissing Connor. They definitely wouldn't be friends anymore with Nick after finding out he kissed their bullying target. 

They already weren't friends anymore, even if the guys at home didn't seem to realise that yet—they were still talking to Nick in their group chat. Nick hadn't checked the chat in days, which meant he'd missed hundreds of messages. He'd been tagged a few time. Mostly Ethan asking if he was banging Lara already, then later concluding he had to be banging Lara or another hot chick if he was ignoring his phone this much. 

They really had no idea. Within the span of a few weeks abroad, Nick had changed so irreversibly much he and the football team could probably never hang out again. Nick doubted he could keep a straight face, no pun intended, when the guys asked about how things were abroad. And what would Blake think if he kept talking to the guys who bullied and humiliated him in high school? Nick wanted nothing to do with that anymore.

He really should leave the chat. Nick's thumb hovered over the leave button, yet, it was hard to do. Phasing out was the cowardly way, but easier, would lead to fewer questions, and was less painful. Those guys had been a huge part of Nick's life for a long time. Sure, there were a lot of things Nick didn't appreciate about them, among which the way they used to bully Blake. And more personally: the way they didn't put any effort into stopping him from pursuing a hopeless football dream for far too long.

 But... still. There had been good times too. Partying in the inner city until deep in the night, and when the clubs closed, staying up until sunrise at some underground party Ethan arranged, barbecues in summer at Matthew's place, sharing the victories and losses on the football field. Even if things were different now, the memories of the good times were still sweet. 

A hand suddenly landing on Nick's shoulder made him jump and drop his phone on the table. He turned and looked up at Blake's grinning face. 

"Bad conscience?" Blake teased Nick, plopping down in the seat next to him. 

"No, uh, I was just focused on what I was reading," Nick lied, snatching his phone off the table and tucking it into his pocket. It would be extremely bad if Blake saw his screen. Blake didn't seem to have noticed what Nick was doing, however, because he was still smiling brightly. 

"What, uh, are you doing here?" Nick asked quickly, before Blake could ask what he was reading on his phone that was so interesting. There was no way Nick could quickly come up with a lie. Blake's presence fucked with his head too much; even a simple smile made him feel flustered.  

Blake raised an amused brow. "Oh, did I forget to mention? I study here as well. Nah, I came to find you because we should go grocery shopping for tonight."

"You mean going to the supermarket together?" Nick blurted, unable to hide his surprise. So far, they'd always done the shopping separately as a sort of unspoken rule.