While the Sun Shines

2.

"What are you doing here?" Nick blurted while Daan the landlord wormed himself past Blake with the suitcases. 

Blake raised a brow and snorted at Nick's question. "I live here. Obviously." 

"What? You two know each other?" Daan asked from the living room. 

"Yep, we know each other," Blake confirmed, his gaze lingering on Nick for a moment longer before he followed the landlord into the living room with his hands shoved in his pockets. 

Daan barked a loud laugh. "Really? What are the odds!"

What were the odds, indeed. 

Nick wanted to turn around right there and then and take the first flight home. Unfortunately, he didn't have that kind of money, and all his belongings were already in the living room. He'd be forced to cause a scene in front of Blake, who would tell people at home, and he would automatically fail all his courses this semester if he left. That was the last thing Nick wanted: more failures to add to the pile. More reasons to not want to go home.   

With a sigh, Nick stepped inside the apartment and shut the front door behind him. He fiercely hoped the landlord had about as much disinterest in their shared history as he had in college choices, but when Nick walked into the living room he could immediately tell he had hoped in vain. 

Daan's gaze slowly traveled from Blake to Nick and back, and Nick could almost tell what the landlord was thinking. He and Blake were extremely different people, and it was obvious with a single glance. Nick looked like a jock. The end. Blake wouldn't look misplaced at a rock concert, in a woman's walk-in closet, or featured in a Hot Topic ad, depending on what day of the week it was. Today, Nick leaned towards saying Hot Topic. 

"So, how do you guys know each other?" Daan predictably asked. 

"We went to the same high school," Nick swiftly replied before Blake could open his mouth. The other boy had a tendency to be a little too honest and reveal a little too much for comfort. 

"Oh, I see. That makes sense," Daan replied with a nod, while Blake raised an amused brow at Nick's hurried answer. 

Nick could just imagine what Blake's answer would've been:'How we know each other, you ask? Well, funny story actually, he used to pick on me in high school together with all his jock friends. Then his best friend, Sem, came out, left the football team, and befriended me instead. Now he's stuck with me in his life because of his bff, and it's my turn to laugh at him.' 

That would've been a spicy answer that raised a lot of questions. Nick's answer, on the other hand, was boring enough to make Daan drop the topic entirely—his talent at making people lose interest was a blessing for once. Daan moved back into the hall and gestured at Nick to follow him. 

"Come, Nick, I'll show you your room," he said. 

"Okay." 

Nick followed the landlord. He felt Blake's eyes burning holes in his back. This was awkward as fuck already. Blake knew everything. He knew exactly how Nick had tried and failed to impress the football scouts and how his girlfriend broke up with him after realising he was a loser who would never go pro—everything Nick wanted to get away from. He felt sick to his stomach. 

Daan opened the bedroom door. With a quick glance, Nick saw was a typical student residence, just like the rest of the apartment. Small, not that well maintained. But, there was a bed, a desk, a lamp, some closets. Nothing special, nothing especially bad. The pictures had made it look bigger and cleaner, but they always did. 

"Tada!" Daan said with a wide smile. "This is your room. If you have no further questions I'm going to take off now." 

"No. No questions," Nick replied weakly. No questions for the landlord, at least. He certainly wanted to ask the universe why it refused to let him catch a break. Blake as a roommate? What kind of a cruel joke was this? 

Daan patted Nick's shoulder. "Alright! Good. I left your set of keys on the kitchen table. Feel free to call me if anything's wrong and enjoy your stay!"

"Thanks." 

Daan left quickly. Nick heard him say a cheerful 'bye!' to Blake as well from the hall. Then the front door opened and slammed close and the apartment went quiet. 

The peace didn't last very long. Nick barely had the time to let himself fall backwards on the squeaky bed and press his hands to his face, or his bedroom door swung open again. 

Blake stood at the entrance, one hand on his hip, the other raised with a set of keys dangling from his index finger. A smile played on his lips, but it wasn't a humorous one. 

"Look," Blake said, jingling the keys as if mocking Nick, "since you're not even trying to be subtle I'm not going to be either. You don't want me here. You wanted to wallop and drown in self-pity alone, I get it. Well, tough luck. You're gonna have to deal with it. I'm here, and I'm not leaving."

Nick frowned, taken aback by Blake's immediately bluntness, even if it was to be expected. "What are you doing here anyway?" he bit. 

"Attending college. The same as you, actually."

"Sem said you were going to Spain." 

Blake rolled his eyes at Nick's accusative tone. "Sem would've been right, if my professors hadn't last minute decided there weren't enough relevant courses for me to take in Barcelona to allow me to go there, and only this place had a free spot."

Nick sighed. "Right." He silently cursed Sem for not giving him the heads up Blake had changed his college exchange destination. Some 'best friend' Sem was. He knew exactly where Nick was headed and that he wanted to be left alone. Having to share the apartment was already an unwelcome feature, but a necessary one to even afford the place. Having Blake as a roommate was... 

Nick cringed as Blake flashed him a broad smile and winked exaggeratedly. "But look on the bright side Nick: looks like we can finally get to know each other without Sem interfering." 

The sarcasm wasn't lost on Nick. He and Blake never hung out alone for a reason. They had nothing in common, except for both being friends with Sem. Each time it was the three of them and Sem left to go to the bathroom or something, silences fell. Blake would try to talk. Nick would give awkward, conversation-killing replies, until Sem came back. 

Nick stuck to his habits today. "Yeah," he said, and that was all. Another beautifully executed conversation-killer. 

Why had Sem decided to keep in touch with Blake after high school anyway? Not everyone who was gay needed to be friends with each other; it wasn't some sort of rule they had to follow. Sem had been a worse bully than Nick had ever been in high school, yet, he seemed to get a pass because he was gay. Sem and Blake had developed some sort of shared secret gay language that Nick didn't understand, and he was stuck still feeling awkward around Blake every time they were forced to hang out. It wasn't guilt, exactly. But Blake was definitely part of a past Nick preferred to leave behind, and that feeling seemed to be mutual. Blake always smiled, but when his smile was aimed at Nick, there was always a hint of sarcasm to it. Whenever Blake talked to him, he always used a mocking, sing-song tone.

Like now. 

"Well then," Blake said. He tossed the set of of keys he'd been holding Nicks way. Nick caught them easily. "Looking forward to us being roomies!" 

Blake turned around and walked away whistling, and without closing the bedroom door— one final petty gesture. 

Nick sighed and let himself fall back on his bed. 

Why, universe, why.