While the Sun Shines

17.

When Nick entered the living room, Blake sat at the table and peeked at Nick over the rim of his tea cup. He sipped tea deliberately while Nick did his best to ignore the entire show Blake was putting up (because it was obviously a show), and walked on to the kitchen to grab some cereal. 

"Oh, put that sad bowl of cereal away," Blake called out. "I made breakfast for three people. You'll let all that egg and bacon go to waste because you want to be a grumpy boy?" 

Nick pressed his lips together. He hated it, but Blake was right. Wasting food, especially meat, was terrible and something Nick hated doing. With a sigh, Nick put the bowl he'd grabbed back in the cupboard and set the bag of cereal aside. 

"Fine!" he called back.  

Nick marched into the living room, sat opposite Blake at the table, and grabbed a serving of egg and bacon. While the food smelled and looked delicious, Nick refused to look pleased about it. He frowned down at his breakfast and started eating. 

"Thank you so much for making breakfast, Blake. It tastes amazing Blake," Blake muttered under his breath, but Nick ignored him. 

There was sweet silence for a few moments, until Blake had to break it again. "You know, I just got a message from Lara," he said. "She missed you and Alex at the Ace of Spades and wondered if you got home alright. Apparently, you were suddenly gone and so was Alex... And neither of you answered your phone."

Shit. Nick had intended to let the others know where he went, but then he forget to actually do it because he was too busy panicking about Alex and being attracted to him. Nick clenched his fork. "Well, great she texted you to check on us," he said through gritted teeth. "I'm sure you were delighted to inform Lara exactly where you found us."

Blake set down his tea cup and arched a brow. "Excuse you? I said nothing, except that you both crashed in this apartment and that you looked quite drunk, which is the truth." 

Nick stuffed some bacon into his mouth. "Sure. Because you'd let a juicy morsel of gossip just pass you by." 

Blake let out an indigent laugh and pressed a hand to his chest. "The slander! Why on earth would I tell Lara that you and Alex slept in the same bed?" 

Nick side-eyed Blake. 

Blake rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine, I know I have a reputation. But in this case I'm nosy because I want to know. Relax, I'm not outing a brand new member of the family." 

"The family?" 

"The LGBTQ plus family, of course." Blake looked at Nick like was an idiot. "Now, can we move past all this paranoia and on to the good parts?" Blake leaned forward, resting his chin on his palm as he smiled coyly. "So, how was Alex? Scale of one to ten?"

Blood shot up to Nick's cheeks. "None of your business!" he all but squeaked.

Blake clapped his hands and pointed at Nick gleefully. "Hah! Fooled you! You know what? I wasn't actually one-hundred percent sure you slept with him until you just admitted you did." 

Nick opened and closed his mouth. His head felt heavy with blood and his brain short-circuited. There was no other explanation for what blurted out of his mouth next: "Stop it! I didn't have sex with him!" 

Blake just shrugged. "Oh, I know that. That would've been a bit too much for a first sleepover." Blake narrowed his eyes at Nick, sizing him up. "Well, it would've been a bit too much for you, anyway." 

"Hey, what makes you think this was even a first time?" Nick asked, crossing his arms.  "And what do you mean, too much 'for me'?"

Blake snorted. "I see. So you're saying you're gobbling dicks and 'hiding sausages' all the time then?"

Nick couldn't suppress a small choking sound from escaping his lips, which made Blake laugh. "My point exactly; way too much for you. Though, I'm sure Alex would've loved to show you a bit more of himself."

Nick pulled a face and groaned. "Stop. Just stop. We're not having this conversation." 

"Hah! I'd say." Blake clacked his tongue. "We shouldn't be having this conversation. Like, how did this happen? I've been openly gay for years, yet you're pulling guys without even trying. I want to talk to the manager of gay sex. How are you getting action and not me? So unfair." 

"Because you weren't at the Ace of Spades," Nick pointed out. "You said you needed to study."

"Please, like you would've said yes if I had taken Lara's invitation myself, babe," Blake countered. "If anything you should thank me. If I didn't have such demanding schoolwork, you would've never gone out there and experienced your bi awakening." 

"Ugh, no!" Nick literally shuddered at the term 'bi awakening' being used. "Don't ever call it that again." 

"What? Bi awakening?" A slow smile spread on Blake's face, clearly showing Nick he was doing it on purpose. "What should I call it then....? Gay awakening?" 

"Oh my God! No awakening at all!" Nick called out, burying his fingers in his hair. "In fact, I'm going to bed right now, un-awakening myself so I don't have to listen to this any longer." 

Nick stood and snatched his half-empty plate of bacon and egg from the table. While Blake laughed loudly behind him, Nick fled the living room with burning cheeks, and went into his bedroom.  He slammed the door shut behind him for good measure, though, Nick wasn't feeling that angry right now. He wasn't even really annoyed. Not with Blake, anyway. 

He was annoyed that Alex already had to go home to London and he was, yet again, attracted to someone who wasn't available. He was annoyed with himself that he'd never realised he could enjoy kissing guys, and most of all: that he had no idea whether Alex was his gay or bi (cringe) awakening.  

When left to its own devices, Nick's brain tended to run wild and worry about literally everything. As Nick laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, he immediately realised he wasn't going to get any sleep until he figured out the answer to the Big Question still lingering in his mind. Nick only knew one quick way he could decide whether last night made him gay or bi. 

With a suspicious glance at his bedroom door, Nick decided it was better to be safe than sorry and locked it. Then he took off his pants, got under the covers, and grabbed his laptop from the nightstand. 

Realising these next few moments could completely turn his life upside down, Nick shut his eyes, breathed in and out deeply... and searched for one of his all-time favourite porn scenes. He purposely chose a women-only scene. No men. To create a more precise experiment. 

The sound had to be off because Nick didn't have his headphones nearby. But watching two women make out and touch each other on screen without hearing them moan was already enough to get something stirring underneath the covers. 

With a relieved sigh, Nick paused the video and let himself fall back on the bed. 

Bi awakening it was.