my lover poets

promise me you won't

promise me you won't say it when...

we're watching the sunset on your car,
looking at one of my most favorite things, together.

promise me you won't say it,
on Christmas,
as you watch me open the gifts you had gotten for me.

promise me you won't say it,
on my birthday,
after I blow out my candles,
smiling into your eyes as I do it.

promise me you won't say it,
as we walk together at night,
your hoodie keeping me warm,
our voices so loud against the silence.

promise me you won't say it,
on our late night drives,
listening to our playlist.

promise me you won't say it in my room,
it has always been my safe space.

promise me you won't say it.
as we sit outside on the beach,
at 10pm,
when the stars are out.

promise me you won't say it,
after we confessed everything we never have to any other soul before,
in your car,
that i'll never forget what we did in it.

promise me you won't say it,
on any day special.

I can't have things ruined for me.
any special day...
ruined.

because once you decide you don't love me,
the special day,
the special place,
special moment,
will be ruined.

and every single time one of those come around,
i'll think of you.

and once you don't love me,
once you stop,
I never want to think of any romantic thing between us again.

don't ruin anything good.

I don't want to cry every time I do..

because I don't doubt you'll leave me like every other boy before you.
they always get sick of me.

I never seem to be enough.

so promise me you won't.

promise me...
you'll say it on any normal day,
any normal moment,
any normal action.

don't even do it as you brush the spare hair behind my ear.
or after you kiss me.
or after you met my family.

the only memory i want...
is the date.
the random date you decided to say it.

and I can only hope i'll forget that special day eventually.

I regret having slow dancing, at 2am ruined for me.