my lover poets

physical sickness.

I had never really thought one could cause you to feel so physically sick.
but thinking upon what he had done to me,
I had never felt so physically sick before.
the words he had whispered into my ear had always been a lie.
while he was pleasing others,
I was here.
living like nothing had been happening on the other side of our love.
once I look back at all the loving things you had assured me with,
they had all been a lie amongst your tongue.
every word.
I had the upmost respect, love, and trust for you.
but what could that matter i guess.
you utterly destroyed any amount of trust I have for guys to this day.
it makes me so utterly ill realizing how much damage a stupid man can do to one.
the moments you told me how you loved me,
you were whispering the exact words to other women.
you had been wearing our matching clothing,
the gifts I had gotten you,
while you were fucking other women.
I had never meant much to you.
I know I was never your favorite person,
you had lied.
you left.
you lied.
After finally finding happiness...
I realize how utterly stupid I was for ever thinking you had genuine love for me.
I had been too blind to see,
the amount of things you were destroying that were apart of me.
I now promise that I won't allow myself to feel this sickness over a man again.
not one soul deserves to feel physically sick,
over another soul.