The Echoes of Solitude

Chapter Two

Chapter two.

Friday 3rd June 2013

Family number six was the family that made me aware of how alone I really was. This foster family was your average, typical American family to outsiders. Stephen Smith, the father, was a business manager at a local firm. Mary Anne was your typical housewife, she would clean, cook and organise everyone as if she was Mary freaking Poppins. Together they had two sons, Matt and Liam and a little daughter Maddie. They adored and loved each child equally.

When I arrived things were starting to fall apart.

Two years prior to my arrival, Stephen lost his little sister in a car crash, she was killed immediately while her partner survived. He had been drinking. Eight years prior to that, he lost his father to terminal cancer. Matt, the oldest son informed me of this when I first arrived, he wanted me to be prepared and to understand.

What did he want me to be prepared for? What did he want me to understand?

He wanted me to understand that Stephen had a terrible temper, a temper that he had no control over. At first, I noticed that he got mad over little things. Matt, playing too many computer games, Maddie, leaving her dolls around or even Liam who would leave his dishes lying around. As the weeks passed, he began to get angry at me and the fact that I was in his house. He accused me of being a bad influence on his children, not doing enough around the house. Every time he got mad, he would make sure that he reminded me that I was not part of their family and that I was only there as his wife's charity case. Yes, his insults hurt at first, but I guess after hearing him say these things to me all the time, I got used to them.

It all came to a head on a Friday night. I had just arrived back at the house after my usual shift at the local coffee shop. According to Stephen, I had to earn my own money if I wanted to stay with them. I heard the yelling before I had even reached the front door. I'm ashamed that my first thought was to turn around and run.

I was torn.

I probably should have left before I entered the house that night. I should've run for the hills to get as far away as I could. But I couldn't, I couldn't abandon those kids. I had grown attached to all of them, we had bonded over the littlest of things. I was older than them all and I had become their protector over the past couple of months. They didn't deserve to be his emotional punching bags.

I remember walking through the front door, the creaking of the door caused him to stop his yelling mid-sentence. I remember how he turned slowly, his hand still in a fist still in midair opposite Mary Anne's face, his eyes in slits, his glare focused on my being.

"Tell me, Mary Anne, how is having this 'thing' in our house any good for us?" His voice became louder with each word as he stalked over towards me. "Enlighten me, Mary, because I am done with her, she's lazy, she's useless, she is a waste of my bloody space and I know no one needs or wants her here." His giant man-hand grabbed my neck, he used his weight to slam me into the wall that I was frozen in front of. "Get your crap from the basement and get the fuck out of our lives."

I vaguely remember how I got to Kate, my social worker, after that. I remember scrambling to where all my 'crap' was lying, grabbing my duffel bag, filling it with the few books I owned and whatever clothes I could see lying around, and ran past a stunned Mary Anne, who sported bruises that covered her delicate face on my way out.

I still feel bad to this day that I abandoned those kids, but in that situation, I had to look out for me, and I knew, deep, deep down that he wouldn't lay a hand on his children. He had never done that in the time I was there.

My books have always been a favourite thing of mine. They allowed me to live in someone else's world and leave the reality of my shitty life behind. Books in a way give me a sense of hope, hope that I won't always be alone, that I can become the subject in which many can love. To be able to live a life that isn't always lived in a false pretense, allows me to feel like I can be worth wanting, to be worth loving.

That, is one of my greatest desires.

"Ally, dear," Mrs. Webber said, her voice gentle, awakening me from my thoughts, and bringing me back to reality. She opened the door with a smile on her aging face. "It's time to get up love, breakfast is waiting downstairs for you, when you are ready." She added with a genuine smile, shutting the door softly behind her. With one last look at my mostly empty bookshelf, I turned to head towards the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead of me.

~

"Ah, good morning Ally dear, there is some toast toasting in the toaster, I wasn't sure what you liked so I thought I would just stick with something simple today," Mrs Webber stated, whilst turning to face me as I approached the kitchen. "Have a seat, dear. Orange juice or tea?"

"Tea would be lovely, thank you," I replied as I followed her orders.

"I'll bring the pot over once it has boiled," she stated, whilst placing the toast in front of me. "What would you like to do today?"

"I have some money saved up, so I do need to get some school supplies for when I start in a few weeks and I need some new clothes as the ones I have aren't really suitable for summer." I replied with a small smile, oh god, she probably thinks I'm some sort of spoilt kid, "But I don't want to be an inconvenience, Mrs. Webber." I added hastily at the end, I didn't need her berating me for my selfishness.

Mrs. Webber turned her head to look at me, her pale blue eyes held my green ones, a warm smile forming on her face. "Now, dear, I think there are a few things we need to cover before we head to the shops. First things first, call me Marie, Mrs Webber was my late husband's mother. She isn't someone who I want to be compared to." She stated, with a small laugh at the mention of her mother-in-law. "I haven't been told the full extent of your past families, and I'm willing to listen if you need to talk. But I need to make something very clear, dear, you aren't and never will be an inconvenience. As I said, I don't know what those other families were like, but you are not going to be treated like that here."

"Oh, um, okay? Thank you, Mrs- ah, I mean Marie," shock filled my voice. How can she say that she doesn't even know me?

"Now, money-wise," Her voice, once again awakening me from my thoughts, "I can help out financially, but Kate, your social worker, stated to me that you were willing to work, that you enjoyed doing it?" Her kind face, studying my own for an answer, with a small nod from me, she continued.

"Marcus, he is an old and dear friend of mine and he told me to bring you down to meet him once you have settled in, he says he has a job that he can give to you straight away." her left hand awkwardly patting my right one. "He owns the local bookstore café that is situated a block away from here. That is only if you want to dear, you don't have to."

"Um, yes, I would really love that, Marie, I actually really would love it." I stated, my voice sounding very brittle, "... I really appreciate it, thank you." She squeezed my hand one more time as if to say that she understood,

"Why don't you go freshen up and I will show you our little town." Nodding in reply, I stood up placed my dishes in the dishwasher, and walked up the stairs to ready myself.

Authors note:

I have the next 21 chapters already written and ready to go. Will post every 2 days. 

Thank you for reading, you're awesome.

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