Poems

Unrequited love

Today is a reiny day.

I can't seem to calm down. I don't have anyone who can help me to calm down. I just don't want to be so lonely anymore...

But this is next to impossible, because no one wants to be with me once they get to know me.

All these voices in my head get loud and I wish I could shut them down.

I feel like the room I'm in is filled with coldness and hatred. All coming from me...

I met someone a few months ago. That someone was different from everyone I knew. Or so I thought at first...

I remember that person's face so clear even if it was quite some time ago. Such a soft and beautiful face with clear features created an illusion in my head and I can't get it out now.

It was dark outside. We decided to hang out together for a few hours. The sky was so dark like coal, but the moon was shining bright, making everything clear.

And I couldn't be more happier being with that person, because I felt like I could be understood.

We walked together, losing ourselves more and more in each other's presences...

We talked and talked and then we laughed and then then we talked again. And the more time we spent, we let our walls break and  each other's words and touches pierce and burn our skins.

We were so perfect together.

But now, we are not even together. I thought I understood this person and that we had a special connection. I was so wrong. 

And like I told you earlier, no one can love me, the true me. Because I'm cold and distant. And because I'm selfish and untrustful. I'm careless and young. But I am also wise and patient. I can love someone and I can also cherish them. But people don't get to see that. They see what they choose to. And because they are not really willing to love someone, they give up. 

And that's unrequited love and brokeness making my heart numb and my soul colder than it already was...