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eleven

a/n: i physically can't write in past tense anymore, hopefully you aren't too bothered by the change :]

cw: mentions of weight and implications of unhealthy relationship with food but they're both very brief !!

he's not exactly livid.
how is he not livid?

hyunjin walks in the kitchen with damp hair and does a cautious double take — his boyfriend is still sitting at the table with his now finished cup of ramen and a phone in his hand. hyunjin's phone, to be exact.

"already?" the raven haired male notes his arrival without even turning to face him, going through his phone with an expression mixture of a frown and a scowl. hyunjin hums softly in response, wary as he approaches the male's side.

"what are you looking for?" he asks, careful as he peeks at the screen over the male's shoulder. why is he going through his contacts?

"do you not save numbers?"

hyunjin frowns.

"there's just you and my mom, you told me to delete the rest," he tells truthfully, nervously fixing the collar of his hoodie. "and chan and seungmin, they got upset when they found out. but i told you about that and you said it was fine..."

"i couldn't care less," the older finally spares him a glance, rubbing circles on hyunjin's wrist that's within reach from where he's standing behind the chair. "you better be thankful you're pretty enough to keep around although you're oblivious as hell and fucked stupid. chan must think so too, hm? seems like you're a pleasure to have over."

insecurity laces hyunjin's voice as he speaks up.

"he's my friend," he says, his voice small. "just a friend."

"and you act like a slut, hyunjin, see where my concern comes from? do you need me to spell it out for you?"

"no," he mumbles gloomily and receives a half-satisfied hum in response. "i'm sorry."

the raven haired stands up at that and hands hyunjin his phone, which he hesitantly pockets, and goes to throw away the empty ramen cup before returning to his side and offering him a lopsided smile. the expression makes hyunjin want to take a step back, as a safety measure, but he knows better than that and returns it with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

he stands still, stiff as the male's hands make it on his waist and from there behind his thighs and then he's easily picked up by the taller male. he has to drape his arms around the raven haired's neck to feel safe, even if it does nothing, and hope his boyfriend won't drop him this time and snicker while telling him how he's gained weight and reminding him to watch what he eats. hyunjin already does. for him. he tries. he just doesn't think he's still doing well enough and the thought really bothers him at times.

he brings hyunjin in the living room and seats himself on the couch with hyunjin on his lap, his legs awkwardly bent from the knees on both sides of the older's thighs in a way that's slightly uncomfortable but not enough to complain. hyunjin avoids looking the male in the eyes at first but gives in when he feels a hand on his jaw, probably ready to dislocate it if he doesn't (he thinks he might just be overreacting, though.) he forces himself to relax the best he can.

"you know," the raven haired speaks as his hands travel from the back of hyunjin's thighs to his hips and slip past the waistband of his freshly changed sweatpants. "i had some fun with that blonde from your english course the other day, what was her name again? ah, i can't seem to remember..." he trails off, faking thoughtful. "she told me someone had come to look for you on the campus, any idea who that could be?"

"you..." hyunjin refuses to finish the sentence and grimaces visibly at the thought, although that must be exactly how his boyfriend feels towards him, too.