Analicia || vh - 29.7k Reads (EDITING)

thirty seven

A month later

Vinnie

Music was blaring through the car speakers as Jett, Eamon, Jack and I were riding to the nearest beach just to hang out and catch up, I missed the guys in all honesty just been distracted.

And by distracted, Ana is that distraction ever since we've started dating I've honestly put my focus on her. I can't help it, I know she tells me she feels like she takes up my time in fact we had a little disagreement about it, our first disagreement. I dislike whenever she tells me that she feels like she's being a bother or 'prude' she says every time I mention the guys wanting to hang out. I tell her that it's not really her it's me so today I've decided to call up the gang and we decided to chill at the beach and maybe get some pictures of the sun setting or just pictures of ourselves.

"What's been going on lately?" Jack asks as he sits close to the driver seat waiting for a response, "oh same old different day, planning some new designs for Purgatory, getting calls to fill up my day but I finally just wanted to have a guy day with you guys" I smiled softly at them as I watched the scenery from the car window "what's new with Ana?" I hear Eamon ask causing me to smile at the mention of her name "dude no girl talk please look I get it you're happy but when do we ever hang out without being held up in our own shit?" Jett says as he focuses on the road "it's cool, and yeah you're right dude but she's very different compare to all the other girls in my past" I tell them, I can just hear Jett screaming on the inside making me chuckle "does she make you happy?" Jack asked "honestly, yeah I just hate that she pushes me away when we have a disagreement." I tell them laying my head against the head rest, "what was the disagreement about?" Eamon asked "how she feels like she takes up my time but she doesn't I feel like I never get to hang out since I get so busy, and sometimes I just wanna go home to her cause she's my safety; I feel comfort and I feel at ease and I don't overthink anything when I'm with her she calms me even in my not so good moments" I ranted, it feels good to let it off my chest I don't know why I couldn't tell her this a few nights ago. In fact we haven't talked since then she really shuts out the world when she's upset. I don't like upsetting Ana it pains me in a way and I hate feeling that way.

"Dude you were always so distant when it came to girls cause knowing your past, but you never get distant with Ana in fact you're all about her nowadays, we miss you and she took you from us" Jett comments joking around "she didn't take me I was the one who wanted to be with her so the blame is on me cause literally after every free moment I get I check in with her first cause she means a lot to me not that you guys don't mean anything to me and y'all do, I just really don't want to fuck up this relationship I want to be happy and Ana is my happiness who knows for how long so I'm just in the moment and I'm glad she said yes honestly." I stated, I really am glad she did say yes this time. Even though I wouldn't ask specifically just how she felt before but Valentine's Day was perfect to ask her to be mine, it was the day of love and I felt all sorts of it when Ana comes around fuck Ana you've been on my mind lately but I'm gonna give her her space; I just hope she knows I'm not giving up on us.

_______

Me and Jett watched Eamon and Jack tossed the football for a bit; "hey look I know I probably sounded like an asshole during the drive, I am happy for you man. It's good to see you in this happy slate, means Ana is doing you better but I'm not giving in on giving my best friend up yet" Jett says truthfully with a smile as he chuckled causing me to join, "you make it seem like we're getting married dude; relax we're not and she's my girlfriend yeah but that doesn't mean she's taking me forever, she gets upset at the fact that I hang with her more than with you guys and that's all on me cause after long days I would just want to go to her and be held; I know that probably makes me sound like a whole ass kid but this kid is sappy, and I'm happy being sappy over Ana" I tell him, "must be fucking nice." Jett says, "you got a lighter?" He asks, "uh" I let out searching my body as I got nothing but my phone on me "nah, check Eamon's bag" I tell him, "but uh what about you?" I ask curious of his love life, curious on who the person is getting him all sappy but lately I've haven't noticed, he shrugged "oh not seeing anyone lately, or guess just haven't pushed myself to do that shit" he says placing a joint between his lips as he's lighting it "why haven't you yet?" I asked, "I don't know, I guess I just don't like the feeling of getting rejected; being bold isn't really my strong suit." He says hitting the joint, "how would you know without achieving it?" I asked; he blinked a bit before passing me the joint, as he's collecting his answer, letting the smoke out he answered. "Fuck you, but dude I get it getting rejected would probably help me boost my self esteem but I'm just not that exactly prepared I know no one's prepared but I gotta be ready and able to do so" I nodded; I understood that honestly I wasn't prepared for this friendship/relationship but I knew I loved Ana I mean I haven't said it since we've gotten together, I mean is it too soon to say it again? Am I too fucking damn slow to not notice I haven't said it.