Analicia || vh - 29.7k Reads (EDITING)

twenty four

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　𝐌𝐨𝐦'𝐬 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

September 12th, 2021

❀ 𝐀𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐯 ❀

So I'm currently on live, I glided my tongue on one side of my split rillo as I was about to fill it with weed. I had music blaring from my Bluetooth speaker. "What Are We" by Inayah started playing. I started bobbing my head to the beat, as the artist starts singing I hummed along as I filled weed in the rillo.

"So what are we? What are we? What are we? What are we? What are we? What are wе? What are we?
I gotta know" I sang softly as I was gently guiding my finger against the wet part of the rillo as I rolled it.

I was too busy into the song as I continued singing along. I flicked my lighter on and warmed the damped area of the rillo. "Are we just friends? Are we just lovers?" I softly sung. A soft tap came from my room door as I turned, as the door opened Lucas came to view. "Oh hi!" I let out happy to see him, I turned my phone down. As the volume decreases I placed my dried rolled blunt down. I turned in my chair facing him giving him my undivided attention. He pulled up the ottoman I had against my bed and sat down, "Sorry for popping up, just wanted to hang out with you for your last two days" he let out, awww he's so sweet and very fun to hang with. The last couple of days he's been keeping me company while the girls caught up with their parents, he's also told me how he's from New York and that Dallas is very different from there. "Aww you're so sweet, oh well since you want to hang out how would you feel like coming to my mom's celebration tonight?" I asked him with a cheesy smile, he smiled "what are we celebrating?" He asked "well her birthday.. she uh before she passed she always bragged about masquerade parties, the dresses, masks, food, the dance and I want her to know that I'm not gonna forever be in hold by crying over her death.. I rather cherish my memories and all the moments I've had with her." I spoke out not realizing that I haven't brought my mom's death to him until now "oh uh wow I thought the woman that let me in was your mom.. but I'm sorry for your loss, and uh yeah I can totally come hang with you, only if you want me to" he let out, reaching for the back of his neck scratching it. I smiled he's asking for permission just like when Vinnie would do.. Vinnie... Wow I haven't really thought of him these past two weeks. I should really reach out and see how he's doing. "Of course I would definitely love for you to come tonight, I would really appreciate it" I smiled at him.

"Alright," he smiled, "then I should probably look for a masquerade tux I'll see you tonight." He lets me know getting up as he made his way to the door; he waved me a small wave as I returned one back. As he exit I couldn't help but have the cheesiest smile on my face.

As I turned back to what I was doing, I realized I was still live. "Oh uh sorry I forgot I was even live" my cheeks got heated, did they see that small moment between us... And jeez I'm smiling crazy ugh why does Lucas make me feel this way? That question kept running through my mind as I continued to be live and have a smoke sesh.

After getting off of live I decided to take a warm shower, as the warm heated water hit the back of my head soaking my brown mid length hair, I glide my hands over my wet hair and squeezed the tips of my hair as water dripped from the tips. Steam filled my bathroom, I opened my eyes looking at the wall showing painted pink butterflies that mom had painted when I first started sleeping on my own; all the bath parties I had with mama started filling my head, I looked at the two butterflies that represented me and mama, I placed my forehead against the slight bigger one, I closed my eyes as the tears that formed rolled down my cheeks as a quiet sob escape me. My breath became shaky. "I miss you mama" I softly let out, "I'm so sorry for what I said.. I didn't mean it" I said tracing the butterfly, "you were an amazing mom, I was just a stubborn little brat who wanted to grow up.. now you're gone. Who do I have to guide me in life? I lost you.. I lost Vinnie, was he the person you sent? Did I throw it all away?" I asked sobbing even more.. god I didn't realize that Vinnie meant so much to me.. maybe I should reach out.. maybe I should've just accepted what Bryce said he was honest.. I didn't even let Vinnie explain why he was keeping him and Faith from me... I need to fix this, to better myself I need to forgive.