Love is a game

18

Meredith woke up during the night and had to use the bathroom. She smiled as she felt Ellis' arm laying on her chest and she couldn't keep herself from smiling even more when she saw Derek in her bed

Meredith looked at Poppy, seeing she was sound asleep. She didn't want to wake the dog so she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and pushed herself onto her feet and grabbing her cane

Slowly and carefully she made her way over to her bathroom where she did her business. It took a while before she pushed herself back onto her feet and slowly made her way back to the bed, laying down in the same position she was in earlier, her daughter immediately cuddling even closer to her and unconsciously Derek wrapped his arm around her waist

She enjoyed it but couldn't keep the tears at bay as she remembered how badly she wanted him back

Flashback

"Derek-" Meredith whispered as she walked into the living room "Are you coming to bed?" Meredith quietly asked, avoiding his gaze as she was scared for the answer she'd get

"I'll be there in a few hours" Derek sighed and kept looking at his television screen

"Okay. Night" Meredith sighed and turned around, stopping at the room next to her own bedroom

She knew she shouldn't go in, not now but she couldn't resist. She opened the door of the room and walked inside

Meredith brushed her fingers over the white crib and held the stuffed bunny in her hands where the name 'Lily' was sewed in pink

"I'm sorry" Meredith breathed as she held the bunny tight against her chest "I'm so sorry" She whimpered and took a seat on one of the chairs in the room

Their daughter should have been two years old now but they didn't get the chance to hold her while she was breathing

End of flashback

...

Meredith woke up as she felt someone staring at her. She opened her eyes and flexed her fingers and toes before she slightly turned her head where she saw Derek and her daughter laying next to her, both their arms draped over her waist. She felt completely exhausted so her eyes closed slowly

"Mommy?" She heard her daughter whisper "Mommy you'wake?"

"I'm awake" Meredith breathed

"Mommy, daddy's making us breakfast" Ellis giggled

"Why don't you go to the kitchen? I bet Poppy wants to join you" Meredith forced a smile on her lips

"Poppy's in the kitchen with daddy. . She was hungry" Ellis giggled "She didn't listen to daddy first. I had to help" Ellis giggled and then they heard Poppy's nails on the floor as she ran towards them

"Hi Pops" Meredith said, still not turning her head as she was too exhausted. Poppy licked her hands before she laid down again

"Breakfast" Derek smiled and walked inside with some plates and placed it on the small table next to the bed

"Derek-" Meredith sighed

This couldn't happen. He needed to have his own life, not living with a sick wife

"Shh, just enjoy" Derek helped Ellis sit up so she could start having breakfast "Do I have to help you sit up?" Derek asked Meredith

"No" Meredith whispered

"Mommy doesn't have breakfast" Ellis told her father

"Mer- We have had this talk before. Breakfast is really important.." Derek sighed

"It's- I can't anymore" She whispered and closed her eyes, turning her head slightly away from Derek

"Oh- I'm so sorry. I had no clue-" Derek had no idea what to do

"No worries. There was no way you could know" She sighed

"How-" He wanted to start but stopped himself

"I have a feeding tube" She whispered "Would you mind grabbing the supplies?" She didn't dare to look into his eyes

"Oh-" I had no idea" He frowned but nodded "Where can I find them?"

"Medical drawer in my bathroom" She quietly said

Derek returned with the small black machine that was about to pump the liquids into her body. He got the machine ready to hook up to the small port in her stomach

Meredith slowly lifted her shirt a little so he could have access, her hands shaking slightly. He then connected her and started the machine

"Mommy and I always curl up in the morning" Ellis smiled as she finished her glass of orange juice and cuddled into her mother's side

"Okay princess, then I'll leave you two" Derek softly smiled

"You can stay and have breakfast.. If you want" Meredith quickly said and immediately saw a smile appearing onto Derek's lips

"I'd love that" Derek smiled and took a seat next to Ellis, grabbing one of the sandwiches he had made

...

"Pop, go open the door" Meredith instructed as she was laying down on the couch with some files as she saw Alex arriving. Derek and Ellis were having a tea party in her room

"Hey Poppy, thanks for letting me in" He chuckled as he walked inside and closed the door before taking a seat next to Meredith and rubbing his hands through Poppy's fur "How were you and Ellis?"

"We were good. Derek's still here" Meredith admitted with a soft smile on her lips

"Mer?" Alex frowned

"He slept here. He made her breakfast. He made us lunch.. Alex- I- I miss him" Meredith whispered

"Oh Mer" Alex hugged her tight

"Doesn't matter. He shouldn't be with.. a cripple" She sighed

"Stop saying that about yourself, you're not less than me, Meredith" Alex said sternly

"Just less quick, less responsible and I can give you a lot more things that are less" Meredith put the file down

"Oh come on, you're the best doctor" Alex scoffed

"And I can't even do a proper surgery" She snapped

"I'm sorry. I know you hate talking about this" Alex rubbed her back

"Sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you" Meredith sighed

"It's hard on you, Mer" Alex kept rubbing soft circles on her back

"And it's hard on you too" Meredith sighed "Where's Jo? I haven't seen her this week"

"She's working so much" Alex smiled softly "Mer?"

"Yeah?"

"Jo and I were thinking of going on a holiday. Would that be okay for you?"

He knew she relied on him. They had wanted this for a long time but had postponed it to go after her surgery while Jo was working a lot of hours so she could leave for a couple of days

"Of course, Alex" Meredith smiled widely "You two should go and stop worrying so much" She chuckled as she hugged her best friend

I need some positive vibes